An Englishman, a Canadian and an American were captured by terrorists. The terrorist leader said: "Before we shoot you, you will be allowed last words. Tell me what you would like to talk about." The Englishman said: "I want to talk about loyalty and service to the crown." The Canadian said: "Since you are involved in a question of national purpose, national identity and secession, I wish to talk about the history of constitutional process in Canada, special status, distinct society and uniqueness within diversity." The American said: "Just shoot me before the Canadian starts talking." I got drunk in Canada. I was there for two days, but I was drunk there for four days. I guess it was the time difference. Adam Carolla