Vampire Jokes

What happens when a vampire drinks too much? They get a fangover.

What do you call a vampire that eats period blood? Count Snatchula

What kind of dog did Dracula have? A Bloodhound.

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him? Because he was pain in the neck!

Where does the vampire deposit his savings? In the blood bank. And why did he like to deposit his savings there? Because everyone there helped increase his savings.

Where does the vampire sail? In the bloodstream.

What do you call a spitting vampire? Spatula.

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? Sametime next month? I heard this jome a while back. Sorry if its a repost

How do you kill a vampire dinosaur? You stakeasaurus.

What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin? Countdown This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share.

Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies? Pencilvania.

What did the vampire say to the teacher? See you next period!

What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula? "Count Dracula."

What does a vampire's blood taste like? Iron-y

Did you hear about the vampire at the circus? He went straight for the juggler

What basketball team does a vampire play for? The New York Necks

Why couldn't Dracula ever get a good blow-job? He scared them all spitless.

Did you hear about that vampire that's never tasted blood? It's a little irony

Who had the best dinner with Megyn Kelly after the Fox Republican Debate? Dracula.

What's a vampire's favourite dance? The vaults!

What do you get when a vampire eats a dachshund? Hollow-ween

Did you hear about a vampire that joined the Nazi party? He was nazi in the mirror as well.

Why did the short vampire like to gamble? Because the stakes were high!

What do you call Judge Judy when she dresses like a vampire? Cunt Dracula

What do you call it when you stab a vampire in the lungs? A miss stake