Turkey Jokes

What's ISIS favourite meal? Turkey! Its the bomb!

Where does a Turkey live? A coup.

Why wasn't the coup in Turkey on Wednesday? Erdogan's suit wasn't back from the cleaners.

What happened when Turkey was accused of being Chicken? It staged a coup

During lunch, what did one Soldier say to the other Soldier? Want some Turkey?

What's the difference between a Dove and a Turkey? One has a coo, the other has a coup

Why is turkey happy? It just escaped from a coop.

What's the difference between Turkey and Duck? Duck doesn't deny the Armenian Genocide.

What did the turkey say to the motorist? Buckle Buckle

Q: Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? A: No, you should just have the turkey!

Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey

What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, hubble, hubble [shamelessly stolen joke from the Facebook page of "Grammarly"]

Mother Teresa died and went to Heaven. She found God waiting for her at the Pearly Gates. "Are you hungry?" God asked. "Yes, I could eat something," replied Mother Teresa. So God opened a can of tuna, reached for a chunk of rye bread, and they began to share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa glanced down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, chickens, lobsters and pastries. She was curious but said nothing. The next day, God again invited her to join him for a m…

A Polish man complained to one of his fellow workers: "Those bastards in the pub – they told me it would be okay to keep a turkey in the freezer for up to three months. I put one in last night, and when I checked this morning it was dead!"

Grandpa was showing little Johnny around the farm and when they came to the corral, he explained: "That's a bull and a cow, and he's serving her." Shortly afterwards, they saw two horses. Grandpa told Johnny: "That's a stud and a mare, and he's serving her, too." That night at supper, after everyone was settled and grace was said, Grandma turned to Grandpa and said: "Will you please serve the turkey?" Little Johnny jumped up and yelled: "If he does, I'm eating a hamburger!"

Donna arrived home from work early one day and found her husband, Glen, in bed with another woman. "That's it!" she shouted, "I'm leaving and I'm not coming back!" "Wait honey," Glen pleaded, "Can't you at least let me explain?" "Fine, let's hear your story," Donna replied. "Well, I was driving home when I saw this poor young lady sitting at the side of the road, barefoot, torn clothes, covered in mud and sobbing," explained Glen. "I immediately took pity on her and asked if she would like to ge…

In what country will you not find a vegetarian? Turkey.

Question: “On a turkey, which side would you find most feathers?” Answer: “The outside!”

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years. Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance. "You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained. After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse. While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the flo…

Did you hear about the blonde that... Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years" Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button. When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C". Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the oth…