Turkey Jokes

Lame joke of the day. Why did the turkey get ejected from the soccer game? He had tripped a fan.

Geogrophy If Iraq invaded Turkey from the rear, do you think Grease would help?

Why does duck taste better than turkey? Because turkey is just poultry in comparison.

Why did Turkey disappear? Because Austria was Hungary.

Three pollocks are discussing the meaning of Easter The first pollock says, ""Easter is that time of year when your family comes over for the night. You sit down to a big turkey dinner and you watch football. ""No you moron,"" said the second pollock. ""That is Thanksgiving. Easter is the time of year when a fat man in a red suit comes down your chimney and leaves you presents underneath a tree."" ""Don't be stupid,"" said the third pollock. ""You should know that is Christmas. Easter is the tim…

The Parrot Joke. !Okay, so, this single fellow in his mid forties has a parrot. He just recently acquired his new feathered friend at the local aviary. However recently the creature has been acting strange. It swears endlessly all day. The man does not swear around the bird and can't understand where it picked up such fowl speech. After a party hosted at his house gets ruined by the birds filthy mouth the man has had enough! After his friends leave the man picks the bird up and yells ""why are y…

What did the turkey eat for Christmas? Nothing, it was already stuffed!

My friend from Turkey had never heard a blonde joke. This was his attempt at telling one. A blonde walks into a bar and sits down next to an Englishman, Irishman, and German. They turn to her and say, ""Are you new here?""

Thanksgiving Prank - Pregnant Turkey http://tjmix.net/index.php/videos?task=latest&id=557&sl=latest&layout=simple

Three Blondes Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was. . The first blonde said, ""Easter is a holiday where tehy have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."" . St. Peter said, ""Nooooooo,"" and he banished her to hell. . The second blonde said, ""Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."" St. Peter said, ""Noooooo,"" and he banished her to hell. . Th…

A man won't stop farting in bed... This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years; the only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a docto…

Deli meats I knew a guy who was addicted to deli meats. He just couldn't quit cold turkey.

The worst part of Thanksgiving is all of the leftovers... and having to heat them up every time I want to eat since I quit cold turkey.

New evidence suggests that Turkey is now supporting ISIS ... they were pretty pissed off at America after Thanksgiving.

I showed up later to dinner yesterday because I was baking a turkey. I'm the turkey. Il see myself to the kitchen table.

What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president? Pardon me.

This joke gets told EVERY Thanksgiving... Might as well (re)post it here. ""How to cook a turkey"" ""How to cook a turkey"" Step 1: Go buy a turkey Turkey Dinner Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD Step 3: Put turkey in the oven Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens Cup of Beer Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink Step 7: Turn oven the on Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky Step 9: Turk the bastey Alcoholic Beverage Step 10: Whiskey another bottle o…

Bad Parrot BAD Parrot A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelle…

Since Thanksgiving is tomorrow How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

Why did the turkey cross the road? Because he's in my belly and he has to go where ever I go from now on...

Happy Thanksgiving Reddit! Let us all give thanks to the day Jesus ate turkey with the pilgrims.

What does a Nazi Turkey say? Goebbels, Goebbels,Goebbels...

I used to date the lead singer of the cranberries Until i found out she was cheating on me....turns out she had some turkey on the side. :D

I shot my first turkey today! But for some reason everyone in the frozen food section acted really surprised.

It is Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend ...and I'm just thankful that I'll have ebola turkey soup and not ebola the deadly disease.