Tony Jokes

Mamma Mia! Gina had just gotten married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Gina. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Gina ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Gina," say…

The Naughty Friend One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings. She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?" The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want." So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I‘d give you a hundred buck just to see one." Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a f…

3 Missing Toes Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very nervous. Her mother reassured her; 'Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.' So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy ches…

That's a job for mama. Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Maria," says…

Got more like these ? 1. Neil arms weak. Neil joins gym. Neil does chin-ups. Neil Armstrong 2. William making fruit shake. William took pears. William put them in glass. William Shakespeare 3. Jimmy goes to restaurant. Jimmy sits down. Jimmy gets food. Jimmy Choo 4. Tony makes movie. Tony works hard. Tony earns fans. Tony Star k 5. Alan feels happy. Alan runs hard. Alan falls in gutter. Alan Reekman (Rickman) 6. Usain shit scared. Usain screams. Usain close doors. Usain Bolt. Got more lik…

Tony, a man of criminal reputation, goes to a confession. Tony, a man of criminal reputation, goes to a confession and tells the priest a couple of mild sins. "Is that all?" asks the priest, surprised. "Yes, that's it. There are no more sins." "And who steals apples from my garden?" asks the priest. "Father, the acoustics in here are terrible, I can't hear a word you say!" claims Tony. "What do you mean? Tell me who steals my apples!" demands the priest. "Everything you say, I can't compr…

200 Bucks A guy goes over to his buddy's house, rings the bell, but his buddy's wife answers. "Hi is Tony home?" "No, he went to the store." "Well, you mind if I wait?" "No, come in." They sit down and the friend says "You know, Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell, It's worth one hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws …

George Bush was visiting the queen of England... when he asked her "I must say, you run a real tight ship over here, would you mind telling me some of your secrets or advice?". The queen said "sure, its quite simple, I surround myself with smart people, for example, watch this". She then calls upon Tony Blair. "Tony, I have a simple question, if you mother has a child and your father has a child, and it's not your brother or sister, then who is it?" Tony Blair thinks for a moment and responds…

Queen of England Obama was talking to the queen of England and he asked her how she runs her country so well. The queen replies quite simply that she chooses the best people to run it. Obama considers this for a moment and then asks, "how do you ensure that they are the best people for the job?" The queen answers that she quizzes them, and as an example she calls in Tony Blair. She asks him, "your parents have a child; it's not your brother it's not your sister, who is it?" Tony replies "well o…

A man, Tony, breaks up with his girlfriend... ...and decides the best way to get over her is to go to the bar and pick up a new chick for the night. He buys drinks for all the ladies and none of them show interest. At the end of the night the bartender makes the last call and Tony, disappointed, makes his way out the back to head home. As the door to the bar closes behind him, he notices a drunk hobo passed out over the sidewalk railing. Tony glances around to see if anyone is nearby and prods …

Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very nervous. Her mother reassured her; 'Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.' So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.' 'Don't wor…

What do you call a man with an extra toe half way down his leg? Tony

One day little Tony gets sent home from school His mother sends him to his room and tells him his father will deal with him when he gets home.

Tony was in court filing for divorce just few months after marriage Tony married one of a pair of identical twins.

""Tony can you spell your name backwards?""

Little Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

Tommy and Tony are in prison. Tommy and Tony are in prison

Afterlife for IRS Cheaters Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes

Why are so many Italian men named Tony? When they ship them over from the Old Country

Tony a man of criminal reputation

Grandmas don't know everything......... Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.

A man named Tony gets on an airplane A man named Tony gets on an airplane in New York going to Las Vegas

Right and Wrong Mrs Cameron, a primary teacher, was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take an example," Mrs Cameron said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?" Little Tony raises his hand, and with a confident smile says, "You'd be his wife."

Why are so many Italians named Tony?,"Because when they immigrated from Italy customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y.

What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee? Tony.