Guarantees in life: 1) death 2) taxes 3) me pulling the handle of your car door at the same moment you try to unlock it

Alligator Shoes After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!' The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go give it a try?' The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, and spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the mur…

Neighborhood Hazard (Long but worth it) I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for …

Fredrick the train conductor Frederick, a train conductor, was driving his train when he thought browsing Reddit at the controls was a good idea. The train suffered a terrible crash and only those in the front of the train survived. Frederick was put on trial for the negligent homicide of nearly a hundred people. He was found guilty and sentenced to death by the electric chair. When asked what he'd like for his last meal, he replied simply with ""A banana, if you will."" The prison guard shrugge…