For the Australians out there! Tony was at school this morning when the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out: Policeman, Fireman, Salesman, etc. But Tony was being uncharacteristically quiet and so teacher asked him about his father. 'My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep…

"Hey mom can Kyle come over?" mom: Kyle from your school or Kyle who is really bad at finishing other people's- [From outside] LOOFAS!

If I could really LMAO, I could get into these jeans my mom has saved for me since high school.

The biggest thing I've learned at art school is the art of disappointing my father.