Technology Jokes

I'm not saying the Internet lies, but there is an alarming discrepancy in the number of iPads I've won and the number that I actually own.

i cant believe ashton kutcher made the apple computer and iphones. thank you ashton

Don't just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It's important to also watch some TV.

Optimus Prime: "I transform from a robot into a truck. You?" Amazon Prime: "I transform money into regrettable internet purchases at 2 AM."

Anne Boleyn: My love, I wait for but one word from you Henry VIII: New phone who dis Anne: Your wife Henry VIII: Lol which one

Rule #0 of the Internet: Nothing you put online, even for a second, can ever be taken down. Drink that in and know it.

BLACK WIDOW: help I think my husband is dead 911: did u murder him? BLACK WIDOW: uh 911: ma'am BLACK WIDOW: *quietly hangs up the phone*

I wish robot servants were affordable already.

"my god, that man is trying to snatch her purse!" i'll be RIGHT back *ducks into phone booth* *pops head out 5 mins later* is he gone yet

When I know I've posted a great tweet, I walk away from my phone in slow motion like I'm Jason Statham walking from an explosion.

CAUTION: Even if your wife uses dual a sim phone, save both the number under one name "WIFE". Never save it as "Wife 1" & "Wife 2".

I thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I'm in NJ

Can anyone recommend a good website where people I knew in high school post pics of their meals?

I want to see a movie where a robot gains consciousness and realizes its a loser and doesn't want to do anything

Accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet.

I'd get a lot more sleep if I didn't insist on reading the entire internet every night.

A website that automatically plays music or needs to "load" is as outdated & terrible as slavery.

I accept your apology. Can I borrow your phone? I need to cancel the hit I put out on you.

I name photos of me stroking animals in files called "Fireworks and big dogs.jpg" so my cats won't find them on my computer.

At this point, a phone book is just a list of people who recently died in their homes before cancelling their landline.

This world is full of folks who refuse to use condoms, but won't do nothin' without a case protectin' their cell phone. Merica.

The day Facebook adds an option that you can like that someone liked something, I quit the internet forever.

I still can't believe it when someone in the bathroom stall next to me is talking on the phone I mean, who TALKS on the phone

I named my WiFi after my last girlfriend because it's never fully connected with me. And also because I caught my neighbour using it.

- What's your cell phone? - iPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that.