Taylor Jokes

I had Taylor Swift in my head all day... ...I just shouldn't shake her off, shake her off...

Girl I work with says to me, ""Why dont you like Taylor Swift? Shes awesome!"". Because I knew she was trouble when she walked in.

Taylor Swift went to the doctor.. ...And received some bad news. ""You have the beginning stages of Parkinson's."" The doctor said with sorrow... Holding back the tears, Ms. Swift plead, ""What am I supposed to do? I have a huge musical career!"" The doctor responded, ""Just Shake it Off..""

Taylor Swift's next album is going to be another break-up album. It will be about her split with Spotify.

Michael J Fox and Taylor Swift dated, but broke up Don't worry, they're both going to shake, shake it off.

So I won a contest and got to have dinner Taylor Swift. I got to the restaurant before she did. She came in late, looking a little pissed off. I said, ""Taylor, I knew you were trouble when you walked in."" I guess this pushed her over the edge, because she stalked off in a huff. I yelled after her, ""Why you gotta be so mean?""

Tension between Katy Perry and Taylor Swift is heating up... ...and Obama is ordering air strikes on Syria, like that's gonna help. What an idiot.

Flea master There as a flea who hates his life. One day he goes to the flea master and says to him ""I am miserable, will you please put me somewhere where I am happy."" The flea master thinks and says, ""I have somewhere I can put you."" I will put you up on a horses hind, you'll really love it there."" So the master puts the flea up on the hind of the horse. The next day the flea calls the master again and says ""You have to get me out of here. This horse is killing me with his tail"" The mast…

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast? Taylor Swift...

My favorite joke my mom told me from my childhood. - A kindergarten teachers birthday. A kindergarten teacher is having her birthday and three of her students decided to bring her a gift. The first students was little Timmy and his dad owned a Candy Store. Timmy walked up to his teacher and handed her a nice little gift wrapped box. The teacher thanked the student and told him, she wanted to see if she could guess what was in the box. The little boy excitedly agreed and after about twenty second…

If you don't believe that full human cloning is occurring... ...just look at each middle-aged female driver of every Range Rover that drives passed you on the road. Her name is Terrible Rich Identical Succubus Harlot, or ""T.R.I.S.H."" TRISH was the first successful prototype and there are many copies of her everywhere. She will be the only one in the car, appear very well-rested, hair, nails, and makeup always perfectly done, completely carefree, wearing gold jewelry, a 5+ carat diamond ring, a…

A crazy looking girl threatened to punch me because I kept playing Taylor Swift on the Jukebox. I knew she was Trouble when she walked in.

What does Taylor Swift say when going down a slide? Weeeeeeeeeee, are never never never, getting back together.

Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

Thought for the day: is Taylor Swift's song We are never getting back together' actually about her legs ?

I neither like nor want to date Taylor Swift, but I know at some point it'll just be my turn.

Anyone know how long we are supposed to ""Shake It Off""? Taylor never specified and frankly I'm exhausted!

I have a bad feeling we're going to pay for Taylor Swift not having a boyfriend on Valentines Day.

Just unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter. Expecting a song within the hour

If I ever fire someone who is a Taylor Swift fan I'll say ""I knew you were trouble when you clocked in.""

Topical Jokes for 10/21 (for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host) NASA scientists are preparing for a mission to Mars by spending eight months in Hawaii. After eight months in Hawaii, the scientists will then go on a well-earned vacation. ...the Hawaii mission will help astronauts practice doing tequila shots while wearing those giant helmets. Wal-Mart has announced they will begin offering checking accounts to customers. The checking accounts will give Wal-Mart …

What do you call a fast clothes maker? Taylor Swift! Made up by my nine year old :)

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven... Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone and do anything you want." The first nun says, "I want-a to be Taylor Swift" and *poof!* she's gone. The second says, "I want-a to be Madonna" and *poof!* she's gone. The third says, "I want-a to be Alberto Pipalini." St. Peter looks perpl…

Did you know Taylor Swift was named after Albert Einstein? 100 years after that is

The pope is on a tour of the United States The tour follows a simple routine: he shows up in a city, addresses an adoring multitude, and then hits the road for the next city. After just a few stops it starts to get pretty monotonous. After all, one adoring multitude starts to look much like another after a few days on the road. The pope is bored in the backseat of his limo, cruising down the highway on the way to his next appearance, when a wicked idea strikes him. He leans forward and says to…