Instead of chasing after Taylor Swift, I'm just going to wait until she breaks up with everyone else so I'm all that's left.#Taylor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
GENIE: u have 3 wishes ME: give Taylor Swift 1 extra ear GENIE: k ME: a blue one GENIE: righto ME: now make Kanye hear out of it GENIE: dude#Taylor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I sprayed Taylor Swift's new perfume on me then started writing a five page letter to the boy who forgot to put a straw in my bag at Arby's.#Taylor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Taylor Swift told Vanity Fair she's not a "clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend" through various voicemails and texts at 3 AM#Taylor#Dating0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
The true irony in Taylor Swift singing about feeling 22 at age 23 is that I want to hit her in the face with a cast iron skillet.#Taylor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Hell is where Sarah Palin is president, Taylor Swift is in love with me, and Kim Kardashian names all the children#Sarah Palin#Taylor#Kim Kardashian#Politics+2 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Probably not a coincidence that Taylor Swift just spent $17M on a mansion only two states away from me.#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
It's 2080. Every living human is named Taylor. Dogs are the size of hamsters. The iPhone 47 is the size of a parachute. Weed is mandatory.#Taylor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
mom: Why are your eyes red? Are you high!? [flashback to me cry-singing Taylor Swift's "Love Story" in the car on the way over] me: Yes#Taylor#Driving#Parents0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
[Taylor Swift on toilet, going #2. Kanye jumps out of her shower] "Yo, Taylor- I'm really happy for you & I'm-a let you finish, but..."#Taylor#You And Im0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Every time you reply to a text from your ex, Taylor Swift completes another album. Don't be an enabler. Drop the phone.#Taylor#Technology#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
me: Go back! uber driver: Did I miss the turn? me [already in the front seat trying to find the station that was playing Taylor Swift]#Taylor#Driving0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
If Taylor Lautner bites you, how much time do you have until you turn gay?#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends should band together to create a compilation album entitled "Maybe it's not us, it's you..."#Taylor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris called it quits. But I am looking forward to her next album devoted to the break-up called 'Calvin and Sobs'.#Taylor#Calvin Harris#Calvin0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Felt sad when I heard Taylor Swift is now with Tom Hiddleston. Apparently, my subconscious thought I had a chance with Tom Hiddleston.#Taylor#Tom Hiddleston0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"If anyone has any reason Kim & Kanye should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." -Taylor Swift's moment of revenge#And#Taylor#Kim#Kanye+1 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Kanye West builds a time machine so he can interrupt himself interrupting Taylor Swift.#Kanye West#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Complimented Taylor Swift on her shirt yesterday and now she's in a tree outside my window with a guitar and a wedding dress. Send.Help.Now.#Taylor#Marriage0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
taylor swift: oh my god look at that face you look like my next mistake me [with mouth full of like way too many Doritos]: what#Taylor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I think it's about time Taylor Swift wrote a song and called it "Maybe I am The Problem".#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp