Sweden Jokes

Every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other... They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line.

Charles XII of Sweden, Darius of Persia and Napoleon are sitting at a bar. Charles XII of Sweden, Darius of Persia and Napoleon are sitting at a bar, watching a military parade on CNN. Impressed by modern technology Charles XII says - "Man, if i had mechanised infratry like that I'd have kicked ass at the Poltava battle." Darius replies - "And if i had artillery like that the Greeks wouldn't stand a chance at the battle of Marathon." Napoleon sighs and says - "And if I had a propaganda ma…

What did the Australian say when he found out there is a country west of Sweden? Norway

The CEO of IKEA was elected Prime Minister in Sweden... He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.

Apple is teaming up with a Korean car manufacturer to sell cars in Sweden They call it iKia

I have just been reading that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it’s raining in Sweden. And I’m thinking, “Who the f*** is going to let me know when it’s raining in Sweden?”

Just found out that the boss of IKEA is the new Prime Minister of Sweden He's still assembling his new cabinet

The CEO of IKEA has just been elected Prime Minister of Sweden He's currently assembling his cabinet...

The CEO of IKEA has just been appointed as the Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet.

What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden? The average intelligence of both countries goes up.

Introducing ""All the children"" jokes Here in Sweden

It's too soon to make jokes about the Sweden Terror Attack We should wait for it to happen first.

The ice fishing contest An ice fishing contest is held between Norway and Sweden. The teams from each country get up early and set up their gear at opposite sides of a lake.

Sweden runs out of trash to recycle... ... Where's PewDiePie when you need him.

Did you hear about the bike race that goes all the way across Norway and Sweden? It ends at the Finnish line.

Why can't Sweden win a race? Because

Charles XII of Sweden Darius of Persia and Napoleon are sitting at a bar.

People in Sweden keep telling me how great it is living there... But I think it's just Stockholm Syndrome.

By law you are required to turn on your headlights if it's raining in Sweden.

By law, you are required to turn on your headlights if it's raining in Sweden. How the hell am I supposed to know if it's raining in Sweden?

..Trump said "Buy american, Hire american" Standing on an Ikea podium from *Sweden*, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from *France*, smiling at a 4K Sony *Japanese* Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser *German* microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in *Switzerland* he patriotically said ..*"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants".* while standing beside a *Slovenian wife*

What color should I choose?,"Well sir we have three options red, blue, and yellow. Our red colors are inspired by the rose fields of Sweden. ""Got the color orange?"" No, the blue colors were crafted from finest of silk from Japan and represent the waves of the ocean. ""What about brown?"" Our LAST option is Yellow it shines as if it came from the sun itself. ""Got Indigo?"" Just indigo f*ck yourself.

Why does sweden have so many somalis? They have a pirate bay......

What do you call immigrants to Sweden? Artificial Swedeners

How do you sink a norwegian submarine? Swim down and knock on the hatch. (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. They do the same about swedes)