One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called tench... One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called tench. The fisherman couldn't eat them all so they gave them to the Mayor of the town. The Mayor wasn't sure what to do with them, so he had an idea; he would have a fish-eating competition. After several rounds, two finalists emerged: Mr. Hicks from a small town named Fife and a man from Sweden named Sven. So they had the final. The Mayor fired the starting pistol and they started eating…

I tried to sell Ikea my new range of combat furniture. It wasn't going well, so I decided to chair the meeting. A couple of minutes later, it was all-out wardrobe.

Two people have been killed and another seriously injured in a knife attack at an Ikea store in Sweden. Police are currently at the crime scene trying to piece the evidence together.

We All KEA! My first day on the job at an IKEA store, I was told by my boss that employees needed to go to the meeting room before every shift. I asked why. He said, ""Assembly required.""