Plato Jokes

"I love plates." - Plato

The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti

I will marry a woman if she knows homer is Not a Simpson and Plato is Not clay

My philosophy joke: Plato gets pulled over for speeding. He rolls down the window for the cop; the cop, eyeing Plato's toga, assumes he's dealing with a delinquent frat boy. ""You thought you'd get away doing 90 in a 65? What do you take me for, a fool?"" Plato looks up: ""Of course notclearly I'm the fool, officer."" So the cop makes him walk the divided line.

Little Timmy always procrastinated his schoolwork A few weeks ago, his teacher assigned the class to write a 10,000 word paper on a great philosopher, but with just 12 hours until the paper was due, Little Timmy had not written a single word. Realizing his predicament, Little Timmy hastily took a pencil out of his drawer and sat down in front of blank paper to begin. Although he knew nothing about philosophy, he knew that if he wanted to finish in time, he'd have to start writing and hope that s…

Plato walks into a bar. And he realises that the bar is not a real bar. In fact, it contains the concept of 'a bar'. Then, with an amazed face, he says: ""This bar is ideal!""

One time there was two farmers that lived out on the road to Plato, Missouri. They was always good friends, and Biil's oldest boy had been a-charmin' one of Sam's daughters. Everything was going fine till the morning they met down by the creek, and Sam was pretty god damn mad. ""Bill,"" says he, ""from now on I don't want that boy of yours to set foot on my place."" ""Why, what's he done?"" asked the boy's daddy. ""He pissed in the snow, that's what he done, right in front of my house!"" ""But s…

Don't let your dreams be dreams! -Plato, in discussion on , the Greek goddess of victory

What are a philosopher's favorite type of chips? Plato Nachos

Plato is lecturing his students on the nature of change and how nothing is ever constant. To drive his point home, he asks his students to give him an example of something definite. ""Master,"" says the first, ""the leaves on the trees are definitely green."" ""Not true,"" answers Plato, ""for they can appear brown, yellow, or orange in the autumn months."" ""Master,"" says the second, ""the sky is definitely blue."" ""Again, not true, for it can appear red or violet in the twilight hours and ev…

Kids' thoughts. I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15 Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13 It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate …

Plato and Aristotle were in the music room of the Academy in Athens. Plato was at the piano, and Aristotle was holding a small lute in his hands. ""Plato, do you know the unpredictability and exactitude of ethics and reflective philosophical hermeneutics require phronesis as an ontological counterpoint to peripatetic conjecture?"" ""No,"" Plato replied. ""But if you play a few bars, I may be able to pick it up.""

""Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber."" Plato,

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, ""Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"" ""Wait a moment,"" Socrates replied. ""Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."" ""Three?"" ""That's right,"" Socrates continued. ""Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that wha…

Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you hear, or are out to repeat a rumor. In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, ""Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students...?"" ""Wait a moment,"" Socrates replied. ""Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."" ""Test of Three?"" ""That's correct,"" Soc…

A philosophy professor, wrapping up his lecture, says: So you see, Plato gives two or three examples, then draws a general conclusion. The same with Aristotle: a few examples followed by a sweeping generalization. All philosophers do this—give a couple of examples and then immediately generalize.

Aristotle and Plato walk into a bar They are debating plenism, the physics of the void and how true emptiness could possibly exist in a world of matter that would immediately fill it, when Aristotle’s friend Nathan comes in with his dog. It is a borzoi. “Is that a new dog?” asks Aristotle. “Yeah, this is Monty” says Nathan. “Didn’t you already have a borzoi?” asks Plato. “Yeah - three actually. But they’re so much fun, big old goofballs! He’s got a brother and sister at home too. And I got rec…

Aristotle, Plato and Socrates walk into a café during the decline of the greek empire. Aristotle, Plato and Socrates walk into a café during the decline of the greek empire. The barista asks each of them why they think the empire is falling. Aristotle gives a powerful speech about how the empire has failed to live up to its telos and deconstructs the very nature of what an empire is. The barista is shocked by Aristotle's intelligence and wisdom. He thanks him for his answer and asks Plato wh…

To do is to be - Socrates To be is to do - Plato

What's a philosophers favorite toy? Plato

Why did the greek philosopher break in two? He was made out of Plato

Why does everyone love Plato? Because he loved Dogs and he had two sons named Plato and Socrates

In ancient Greece, the great philosopher and teacher Socrates was revered for his wisdom and common sense. One day, he bumped into an acquaintance who said excitedly: "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?" "Wait a moment," replied Socrates. "Before telling me anything, I would like you to pass a little test. It is called the Triple Filter Test." "Triple Filter?" "Yes," continued Socrates. "Before you tell me about my student, it might be advisable to take a minute …