Aristotle Jokes

Philosophy Convention All the world's greatest philosophers are gathering in France for the largest philosophy convention ever. Socrates, Descartes, Kant, etc have all made their way to Paris and checked into their rooms. Aristotle's invitation was lost in the time-travel post office and he didn't get the invitation until much later. When he finally arrives, he asks the front desk for his room but, unfortunately, no rooms are available. Struck by this, Aristotle asks Socrates if he wouldn't mind…

When Aristotle hits on women Hey baby, do you have an imm Hey baby, do you have an immovable place to stand on? Because I have a pole of sufficient length and I want you to feel the earth move! Edit: TIL It's actually Archemedes' pick up line! Courtesy of Magnum 314

Kids' thoughts. I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15 Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13 It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate …

Plato and Aristotle were in the music room of the Academy in Athens. Plato was at the piano, and Aristotle was holding a small lute in his hands. ""Plato, do you know the unpredictability and exactitude of ethics and reflective philosophical hermeneutics require phronesis as an ontological counterpoint to peripatetic conjecture?"" ""No,"" Plato replied. ""But if you play a few bars, I may be able to pick it up.""

Haegel, Nietzsche and Aristotle walk into a bar... Why?

Aristotle said we are what we repeatedly do. Therefore, I am your mother.

Alexander the Great A high school teacher admonished his class - "Alexander the great had conquered the known world by the time he was only a few years older than you. You guys can't even conquer your homework." A student from the back shot back - "He had Aristotle as a teacher, we only have you."

A philosophy professor, wrapping up his lecture, says: So you see, Plato gives two or three examples, then draws a general conclusion. The same with Aristotle: a few examples followed by a sweeping generalization. All philosophers do this—give a couple of examples and then immediately generalize.

Aristotle and Plato walk into a bar They are debating plenism, the physics of the void and how true emptiness could possibly exist in a world of matter that would immediately fill it, when Aristotle’s friend Nathan comes in with his dog. It is a borzoi. “Is that a new dog?” asks Aristotle. “Yeah, this is Monty” says Nathan. “Didn’t you already have a borzoi?” asks Plato. “Yeah - three actually. But they’re so much fun, big old goofballs! He’s got a brother and sister at home too. And I got rec…

Aristotle, Plato and Socrates walk into a café during the decline of the greek empire. Aristotle, Plato and Socrates walk into a café during the decline of the greek empire. The barista asks each of them why they think the empire is falling. Aristotle gives a powerful speech about how the empire has failed to live up to its telos and deconstructs the very nature of what an empire is. The barista is shocked by Aristotle's intelligence and wisdom. He thanks him for his answer and asks Plato wh…

Aristotle said we are what we repeatedly do. Therefore

Why did Aristotle hate French fries? They were fried in ancient grease!