Kids' thoughts. I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15 Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13 It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate …

Once, there was a snake named Nathan. All of his friends, however, called him Nate. One day, Nate was slithering along the middle of the road, when he came across a large lever, placed directly in the middle of the road. On this large lever, someone had placed a sign that read, ""Do Not Pull Lever: THE WORLD WILL END!!!"" As Nate sat there, in the middle of the road, pondering the urgency created by using three exclamation points on the sign, there came a car speeding down the road. At the wheel…

The Longest Joke in the World (Part 3) **[Part 1](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/10ugw6/the_longest_joke_in_the_world_part_1/)** **[Part 2](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/10uhok/the_longest_joke_in_the_world_part_2/)** ""I might suggest that we take care of that methanol you now have in your system with the next request,"" continued the snake. ""I can guess why you drank it, but I'm not sure how much you drank, or how much methanol was left in the wiper fluid. That stuff is nasty…

Aristotle, Plato and Socrates walk into a café during the decline of the greek empire. Aristotle, Plato and Socrates walk into a café during the decline of the greek empire. The barista asks each of them why they think the empire is falling. Aristotle gives a powerful speech about how the empire has failed to live up to its telos and deconstructs the very nature of what an empire is. The barista is shocked by Aristotle's intelligence and wisdom. He thanks him for his answer and asks Plato wh…