Jerusalem Jokes

A man visits his Rabbi One day, a Jewish man visits his rabbi, with a worried look on his face. "Rabbi Moishe, I've got quite a problem. It's my son, see. He went to Jerusalem to make pilgramage to the Wailing Wall, but when he came back, he'd become a Christian! I tried to ask him why he converted, but he didn't give me a straight answer. How on earth do you think that happened?" The other Rabbi clicks his tongue in disbelief. "I wish I could give you a good answer, but to tell you the trut…

A couple were in a busy shopping center in Dublin just before Christmas. The husband wandered off as she was standing in line, saying something about being back in a little bit. After getting through the line, Paddy wasn't back yet and since they still had more shopping to do, the wife called him on the mobile. The wife said, "Where are you?" He said, " You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I couldn't afford it at the time an…

In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview. “Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?” “For about 60 years.” “60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?” “I pray for…

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel... and came upon a casket containing a mummy, a rather rare occurrence in Israel, to say the least. After examining it, he called Abe, the curator of the Israel museum in Jerusalem. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.Abe replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out." A week later, the amazed Abe called the archaeologist. "You were right about both the mummy's…

i was in Jerusalem for a holiday Needing my cuppa of java i wandered into a cafe and was served by a male barista. I found it odd that there were no female Baristas so i made it a point to keep a lookout for them across the holy land. From Starbucks to coffee club, from hipster cafes to neighborhood coffeehouses, not a female barista could be found. Perplexed by this, i finally asked the Jewish barista at the starbucks at the airport when i was about to leave. He thought about it for a moment…

A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem when the wife suddenly died.

A couple of Aliens land in the middle of Jerusalem and see all the worshippers... One looks to the other and says ""See

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem . While they were there

Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel. While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.

An archaeologist was digging in the desert outside Jerusalem... An archaeologist was digging in the desert outside Jerusalem

Mr. Smith is on vacation with his wife and mother-in-law in Jerusalem One day

An old couple went on holiday to Jerusalem.. ...But on the trip the wife died. A local priest then told the husband that he had two options. He could get her buried in Jerusalem for $30

nagging wife A Scotsman and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem when the wife died suddenly. The undertaker said it will cost £5000 to ship her home or £50 to bury her here. The husband said ship her home. The undertaker said ""but Sir why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money."" The husband said ""listen here pal

A man and his ever-nagging wife are on vacation in Jerusalem While they were there

Risky Burial A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there

Kraft have just opened up a new factory in Jerusalem... They've called it 'Cheeses of Nazareth'.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?","They all want either pees peace or peas in the middle east.

Did you know that Kraft is building a factory in Jerusalem? They're calling the operation Cheesus of Nazareth...

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want? They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Who's the most flexible man in the Bible? Job - he tied his ass to a tree and walked all the way to Jerusalem

A CNN reporter covering the Middle East heard a story about an elderly Jew who had been going to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem to pray twice a day, every day, for a number of years. So she went to the Wailing Wall and, after waiting around for an hour or so, she spotted him. When he had finished his prayers, she approached him for an interview. "Sir," she asked, "how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall and praying?" "Forty years." "Tell me, what do you pray for?" "For peace between Jew…

A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it would cost 45000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband said 'ship her home'. Shocked, the undertaker asked 'but sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money ?' The husband replied 'a long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead... I cant take the chance!'