An old Jewish man is leaving the Soviet Union An old Jewish man was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union, to emigrate to Israel. When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin. Customs: What is that? Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That is Lenin! The genius who thought up this worker's paradise! The official laughed and let the old man through. The old man arrived at Tel Aviv airport, where an Is…

Why is Jeb! Bush still running for president? Because the Bush family thinks that no child should be left behind.

What is politics? A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes s…

A little boy asks his mother what the difference is between a Democrat and a Republican? The mother thinks hard and comes up with this explanation for the child. A Democrat is like that very nice aunt you have that always promises to take you to Disneyland. But something always comes up and you never actually go. A Republican is like a grumpy uncle. Every time you ask him about Disneyland he says absolutely not, we don't have enough money. But then later you find out that he went with ou…