India Jokes

An American anthropology professor is lecturing on how to recognize the dominant features of a culture. ""It's quite simple,"" she says. ""Just look for the things to which, or for which, people make great sacrifices. In medieval Italy, look at how much money the people gave to the Catholic Church in their devotion to Jesus and the Virgin Mary. In pre-Columbian Mexico, look at the sacifice of humans on the Aztec altars of their gods. Even in modern India, look at the outrageous burdens placed on…

People in India must really enjoy sandwiches. I heard there were almost 250,000 people in a new deli.

Once someone called an Indian man Asian. He did not get offended because you are dumb. India resides IN south Asia thus all Indians are Asian.

Call me Christopher Columbus, Because I'm coming to get India.

Have you tried the meat in India? Person 1: Hey, have you tried the meat over there in India? Person 2: Nah, seems like an awful long way to go just for some meat.. Person 1: You should try it. Their Delhi is fantastic!

What do you call a valet from India? Mahatma Coat

new way to pay A company in India is coming out with a competitive PayPal alternative called PayMyFriend.

The Problem With Corporate America A Japanese company and a North American company decided to have a canoe race on the St. Lawrence River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The North Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusi…

Fastest thang in the universe An Indian Joke - Masterpiece! After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and an Indian. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, ""What is the fastest thing you know?"" Dave, the American, replied,""A THOUGHT""…

Where were you born? Boss: Where were you born? Employ: India .. Boss: which part? Employ: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

There are seven ages of man: Sixteen to twenty-five... twice daily. Twenty-five to thirty-five... thrice weekly. Thirty-five to forty-five... try weekly. Forty-five to fifty-five... try weakly. Fifty-five to sixty-five... try oysters. Sixty-five to seventy-five... try anything. Seventy-five and beyond... try to remember. And just like the man, there are seven ages of woman: Sixteen to twenty-five, like Africa: partly virgin, partly explored. Twenty-five to thirty-five, like India: hot and myster…

Which country do lesbians belong to ? *this is a true story * A 6yo boy, friend of mine comes over to me and asks in a serious tone ""if ppl in India are called Indians , which country do lesbians belong to ? "" I was soo tempted to say Libya and run away from there to avoid a awkward conv

Travelers to India joke that the country name is an acronym for, I'll Never Do It Again!

Once upon a time in india a american tourist came to saw tazmahal , he was astonished that indian are daily bathing didn't need a deodorant for hide the body odour, ,,, he is so jealous

Prison Safety I was reading recently about the prisons in India (the Indian word for prison is Budht). The article said that there is lots of violence in their prisons and that as a defensive matter the inmates have split up into gang-like sects. Can any of you confirm whether in India they have sects in the Budht as a means of protection?

A chicken walks in to a bar... A chicken walks in to a bar and says, ""Give me an India Pale Ale with some sort of fruit flavor."" The bartender says, ""I'll be right with you chicken. But this egg was here first.""

My wife likes to tell me she is worshipped in india... She's a fat cow.

Scary This happened about a month ago near Lonavala. A guy was driving from Mumbai to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wanted to see the scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reached the ghats his Car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he started walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It was dark and raining. And pretty soon he got wet and was shivering. The night rolled on and no car passed by, the rain…

Desi vedio jugar of india jugar india ka

Mahatma Gandhi never wore any shoes... ...and as a result of a lifetime of devoted pilgrimages along the uneven streets and gravel pathways of India, Bapu's feet were hardened beyond compare. Gandhi was also vegan for his entire life and while his strict diet helped him to maintain a spiritual connection to all living things, it also contributed to a certain frailty; particularly in his later years. Only those closest to Mahatma Gandhi know that one of the bi-products of Bapu's diet and ascetic …

A 20 year old man goes to India to visit and old chief and this chief claims to know everything about anything, so the man goes up to him and says, ""Chief, do you know the result between Wigan and Shrewsbury Town in the 1927 FA Cup?"" The chief replies, ""1-0 to Wigan."" Being a Wigan fan himself, the man was amazed at his knowledge and thanked him. 50 years later, he books a holiday to India. Whilst on his holiday he decides to go and see if that chief is still alive and to his amazement he is…

John Smith started the day early having set his alarmclock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am .. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG) He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA) After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIW…

Authorities in India have arrested and imprisoned a pigeon. On suspicion that it was spying for Pakistan. [True story](http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/32928909/pakistani-spy-pigeon-arrested-in-india)

An American mistakes a Hindu from India as a Muslim from Pakistan Indian guy goes ""Excuse me sir, you seem to have mistaken me for a Muslim from Pakistan. I belong to 711 not 911."" I will show myself out.

The Dot For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian Embassy has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab or a motel. If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones …