Harry Jokes

what is harry Potter's favorite ice breaker? Scar Stories.

Why did Harry Potter's friends pick him up and pass him around on his birthday? They were playing pass the Parseltongue.

[Dirty] What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry escaped the chamber.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry came back to life

What's the difference between harry potter and jews? Harry escaped the chambers.

Whats the difference between a Jew and Harry Potter? Harry can escape the chamber.

What's Harry Potter's favourite way of getting down a hill? Walking. ... JK Rolling.

What is Harry potters favorite way to get down a hill? Walking....J.K . Rowling

You know who is the worst person ever? Yes, Harry, he is.

Harry was sitting in the clubhouse bar, thinking about his latest extra-marital affair. Absent-mindedly, he began thinking aloud: "Not worth it, never as good as you hoped. Expensive, it messes with your mind and it's not fair on the wife." Overhearing this, a friend sitting nearby leaned over and said: "Come on, Harry, you knew what to expect when you took up golf."

Harry was a compulsive gambler who would bet on anything – cards, horses, roulette, dogs, football, baseball, dice, basketball. One day after a run of bad luck, he said to his best friend: "Buddy, I hate asking you this, but I need $3,000 urgently. We've got no food in the house, I owe three months' rent, the kids need new clothes and my wife is too ashamed to go out because we have bad cheques at every store in town. Is there any way you can help me out?" The friend thought for a moment before …

Bob and Harry were in a bar. Harry says, "Sorry I'm late. I've just returned from a pleasure trip. “Oh where have you been?” asked Bob. “Just dropped the wife off at the airport!”

Every night after dinner, Harry took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening there and always arrive home, well inebriated, around midnight each night. He usually had trouble getting his key to fit the keyhole and couldn't get the door open. And, every time this happened, his wife would go to the door and let him in. Then, she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and coming home in a drunken state. But, Harry still continued his nightly ro…

A wife was having coffee with a friend of hers when she confided to her, "Our marriage has never been that great, but this year has been the absolute worst between my husband and I. Harry often yells at me, criticizes me, puts me down, plus he never helps out with anything around the house, and I keep getting the feeling that he's screwing his secretary. I can't eat, I can't sleep...in fact, I've already lost eight pounds this month alone!" "Well, why don't you dump the bastard?" her friend said…

Harry and Fred both bought one horse each. They wanted to make sure that they feed their own horse each morning. So Harry asked, “how will we know which is your and which is mine?” Fred said “its easy I will cut mine’s tail and yours will be the one with tail”. Some boys outside heard it and cut the tail of other horse too. So the next morning confusion arose even more. Harry said, “don’t worry, I”ll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell”. The boys heard this too so …

There were two twins, Tom and Harry. Tom was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that Harry’s wife died the same day Tom’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Tom and mistaking him for Harry said “I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must be feeling terrible.” Tom, thinking she was talking about his boat said “Fact is I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an ol…