Wise Golfer A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, ""If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"" ""No, I had to stop drinking years ago,"" the homeless man replied. ""Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?"" the man asked. ""Are you NUTS!"" replied the …

Frank and Harry are at their golf club... As Frank gets set to take his swing, a funeral procession goes by. He steps back, takes his hat off and holds it over his heart. Harry walks over, puts his hand on Frank's shoulder and says ""That was a thoughtful thing to do"". To which Frank replies ""It was the least I could do, we were married for 30 years.""

Installing a Husband. **INSTALLING A HUSBAND** Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. ... In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversatio…

Don't make fun of your wife. A husband is prone to making fun of his wife's weight by calling her 'mother of three'. Every time he asks for something he says ""Mother of 3? Where is the remote?"" or ""Mother of 3? What's for dinner?"" One day he has his buddies over for football and he gets a bit drunk. He starts endlessly calling out: ""Mother of 3, Let's get some more beer in here."" ""Mother of 3, how about some chips?"" She doesn't answer. The husband keeps yelling over and over again until …