Garden Of Eden Jokes

The Garden of Eden must have been one exciting place if the most tempting things were apples.

Fun Fact: The "eye roll" was created by Eve in the Garden of Eden within 15 min of her first conversation with Adam.

If you ever struggle to make your woman happy, just remember Eve was in the Garden of Eden and it wasn't good enough.

I'm quite sure if Adam had offered Eve a donut, that whole Garden of Eden thing would've gone in an entirely different direction.

Adam's new wife Adam had been in the garden of Eden for several years without someone to share his life with. One day, he asked God for a companion. God said to him, ""I can give you a wife that will be everything you could dream of. Humble and submissive, she will make your life nothing but pleasurable. However, to make her I'll need an arm and a leg."" Adam says, ""Aw what, that sucks! What can I get for a rib?""

Garden of Eden Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, ""What is wrong with you?"" Adam said, ""I don't have anyone to talk to."" God said, ""I will give you a companion and it will be a woman."" He said, ""This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make, she will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. ""She will not nag,"" God continued, ""a…

Adam's Rib Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, ""What is wrong with you?"" Adam said, ""Lord, I don't have anyone to talk to."" God said, ""Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a 'woman'. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will alwa…

Where would men be without women? The Garden of Eden

The Garden of Eden [Poem] In the Garden of Eden, as everyone knows, Lives Adam and Eve without any clothes. In this garden were two little leaves. One covered Adam and one covered Eve. As the story goes on, never the less to say, Along came the wind and blew the leaves away. At the sight Adam did stare, There was Eve's treasure all covered with hair. And wonder came into Eve's eyes, As Adam's thing started to rise. They found a spot, which suited them best, A nice big tree where they began to re…

Adam is sitting in the Garden of Eden So Adam is sitting in the Garden of Eden and he says, ""God, I see that all of the other animals that you have created in this truly perfect world have a companion, a partner, someone to be with, share life with, and to love. Why is it that I am alone?"" God pauses for a moment, and says ""You know Adam, I'll work on that. Be patient, my son, I shall return to you in a week's time."" God labors for a week as only a being of such incredible omnipotence can la…

In the Garden of Eden... In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore? A hole in it.

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are. The American says, ""Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."" The Briton says, ""What are you talking about, look at how calm and reserved they are, the are obviously British."" The North Korean says, ""You two are both missing the point. They have no clothes, no shelter, they only have and apple to eat between them and yet…

Marie was tired during scripture class And she kept falling asleep at her desk, halfway through the class the teacher asked her a question, ""Marie who is a lord above?"" James her friend behind her notices she is asleep and with a pin pokes her. Suddenly she yelled ""GOD!"" as she is pricked by the sharp pin. ""Very Good!"" The teacher said. Only minutes after she fell asleep again the teacher asked her another question, ""Who died on the cross for our sins Marie?"" And James notices she is asl…

At the beginning of time, God came to apologize to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden He told them, ""guys I am sorry to tell you I have almost run out of abilities I can grant my creations. The cheetah I gave speed, the chameleon got the ability to change it's color. After visiting all my creations, I now only have two gifts left to give away"" ""What are these?"", Adam asked. ""The first gift is the ability to pee while standing.."" ""I WANT THAT ONE!"", Adam screamed. The gift was granted and…

Three nuns die and end up at the gates of Heaven. St Peter says that before they can enter, they must first each answer a question. To the first he asks ""who were the first humans?"" She says ""Adam and Eve"" and he lets her in. To the second he asks ""where did they live?"" She says ""In the garden of Eden"" and she too is admitted. Then he asks the third, ""what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"" She replies ""My goodness that's a hard one"" - and he opens the gate and lets her in.

So God says to Adam in the garden of Eden... ...what's wrong my son? I'm very sad and lonely God, I wish I had a companion. So god says: I will make you the perfect companion; she will always be faithful, beautiful, will never get fat, will always be there for you, will never talk back to you and always obey you. Adam says: That's amazing God, sounds like the perfect companion. What's the catch? Son I will need one of you balls to make her. Adam thinks long and hard...after several minutes he as…

Adam Haggles With God As Adam is walking about the Garden of Eden he is approached by God, ""Adam you look quite lonely."" ""Well..."" ""Listen, my son, how about I make you a companion? A beautiful women, who is smart and funny. She will be your true match and the two of you will be forever happy together."" ""Well that does sound pretty great,"" replies Adam. ""Wonderful, I'll only need your arm to make it so."" ""...my arm? Can I think about it?"" God allows Adam to mull over the deal and say…

Blame According to popular legend, blaming someone else when the fault is really yours began in the Garden of Eden. Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent, and the serpent, alas for him, didn't have a leg to stand on.

THE EVE OF CREATION One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, ""Lord, I have a problem!"" ""What's the problem, Eve?"" God asks her. ""Lord,"" she says: ""I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."" ""Why is that, Eve?"" came the reply from above. ""Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples,"" she says. ""Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall creat…

Watch out for that snake A man named John lives in Texas near the Mexican border. He decides that life is, in fact, short, so he rents a Jeep to go offroading in the desert. Now John has been offroading for about two hours, when he goes over a dune at a bad angle, and rolls his Jeep onto the side. To his horror, one of the fuel lines was severed in the process, and he has lost all of the fuel in his tank. John pulls his cell phone out of his pocket, and unfortunately does not have any service. H…

The Oldest Profession A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their arguments, they went all the way back to the Garden of Eden. The doctor said, ""The medical profession is clearly the oldest because Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was an incredible surgical feat."" The architect did not agree. He said, ""But if you look at the Garden itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out…

God shows up in the Garden of Eden looking for Adam and Eve. Eventually he finds Adam alone and asks him, ""Where is Eve?"" Adam says, ""Well, last time i saw her she was taking a bath in the river."" God, looking annoyed, asks him how long she's been in there. ""I guess a couple of hours."" ""Really, shit!"" ""What's wrong?"" asks Adam. ""Now I'm never going to get the smell out of those fish.""

Adam and Eve Do you know where the saying ""It's both a blessing and a curse"" originated? Actually, it started right after Adam and Eve were thrown out of the Garden of Eden. Adam noticed that Eve was bleeding in a certain part of her body and told her:""That will turn out to be both a blessing and a curse"", to which Eve replied:""Why don't you just shut the f... up!"" This startled Adam no end, because up to this point Eve had been so sweet and shy and had never uttered a bad word about anyon…

There was an incredible archaeological find in the Middle East. A group of archaeologists near the Euphrates River believe they have uncovered the famous Garden of Eden, the setting of the creation story in Genesis. While trying to locate the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, the group stumbled across a third three, the Tree of All Evil. This tree startled the archaeologists, as they were unsure of just how evil the tree was. Nobody dared to even touch its forbidden fruit,…

So Adam is sitting in the Garden of Eden... ... and he says, ""God, I see that all of the other animals that you have created in this truly perfect world have a companion, a partner, someone to be with, share life with, and to love. Why is it that I am alone?"" God pauses for a moment, and says ""You know Adam, I'll work on that. Be patient, my son, I shall return to you in a week's time."" God labors for a week as only a being of such incredible omnipotence can labor, and after much exhausting …