Genesis Jokes

"But Lot's wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt, and Lot was like 'wtf' " Genesis 19:26

Genesis is my favorite rock group who've been around long enough to write a chapter in the bible.

A gentler Tarantino movie where the two tough hoods argue about whether Peter Gabriel or Phil Collins was a better lead singer in Genesis.

Hand 2 toddlers a poisoned cookie and tell them not to eat it, then leave for a day. Some would call that stupid. The Bible calls it Genesis

I heard that there were a couple of jokes in the Bible, so I went to look for one myself... I found one in Genesis, but it wasn't that funny; it was the oldest joke in the book.

Be Fruitful and Multiply A dead-beat Dad died and went to Heaven. He was greeted at the Golden Gate by St. Peter, who warmly shook his hand and asked him to sit down next to him. Looking over the dead-beat Dad's file, St. Peter frowned and shook his head sadly. ''Your record looks fine, except for one glaring item. Why the hell didn't you pay child support for your six kids?'' The man jumped up. ''Child support?! All God said in Genesis was 'Be fruitful and multiply.' He didn't say nothin' about…

What do you get when you have barbie dolls standing in a line? A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. http://imgur.com/gallery/he4epJo/ I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.

A new bishop was visiting the homes in the ward At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote ""revelation 3:20"" on the back of the card and stuck it in the door. The following Sunday he found that his card had been returned under his office door. Added to it was this cryptic message, ""Genesis 3:10."" Reaching for his Bible to check out the verse, he broke up in gales of laughter.…

So archaeologists found another Dead Sea Scroll... They opened it up, and read: GENESIS 1:0 ""Before the beginning, there was Chuck Norris. And Chuck Norris said, 'Let there be God.'""

There was an incredible archaeological find in the Middle East. A group of archaeologists near the Euphrates River believe they have uncovered the famous Garden of Eden, the setting of the creation story in Genesis. While trying to locate the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, the group stumbled across a third three, the Tree of All Evil. This tree startled the archaeologists, as they were unsure of just how evil the tree was. Nobody dared to even touch its forbidden fruit,…

A doctor a civil engineer and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked ""Well in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world."" The civil engineer interrupted and said ""But even earlier in the book of Genesis it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the …

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to “Where do pets come from?”

What do you get when you have barbie dolls standing in a line?,"A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.