Ernie Jokes

I don't care if Ernie and Bert are gay or not, but how do they afford that apartment? Do they even have jobs.

Accidentally drew my eyebrows on too dark and thick and now I live on Sesame Street with Ernie.

Ernie's roommate asks him if he wants to go out for ice cream. Ernie refuses and proposes an alternative, but his roommate does not understand the response: Sherbert!

""Hey Ernie do you want some ice cream?"" ""Sherbet.""

Bert walks up to Ernie and asks, ""Ernie, you want some ice cream?"" Ernie says, ""Sure, Bert!""

Hey Ernie, want some Ice Cream? Sure Bert! XD

What do you call people who use sandpaper to remove any evidence that Ernie and Bert are gay lovers? Bernie Sanders.

The plumber comes to fix some things in the house... ...and little Ernie follows him everywhere. When the plumber pulls out a screwdriver, little Ernie says, ""My Dad has two of those."" The plumber smiles and pulls out a wrench. ""My Dad has two of those,"" says Ernie. The plumber smiles again and carries on working. When he goes to the bathroom for a pee, little Ernie goes along. Taking out his prick, the plumber asks, ""Has your dad got two of these too?"" ""Yes, he has!"" replies little Erni…

Bert goes over to Ernie, and says ""I have plans for a heist right here on Sesame Street; you want in?"" Ernie nods in enthusiastic agreement, and Bert goes on: ""Alright, here's how it's gonna happen. When the sun goes down on Sesame Street tonight, we'll make our way in. You keep a lookout, and I'll take the loot. First I'll grab an ""A,"" then a ""B,"" and then another ""A,"" and another ""B."" Ernie looks at him in disbelief ""Letters!?! We're stealing letters? Where's all the money and jewe…

Ernie hears from the kitchen ""Hey Erine, want some ice cream?"" ""Sherbert!""

Guy named Ross gets a new job as a school bus driver... He gets a bus that has Bert and Ernie, Grover, Big Bird, et. al. painted on it. He says ""Are you kidding me?"". Boss replies, ""Once you have some seniority we'll give you a newer bus."" So, he sets out on the run and at his first stop a boy gets on. Ross says, ""Hi. I'm your new bus driver, Ross!"" ""Hello sir! I'm Lester G!"". Kid sits down, takes his shoes off, and starts scratching at his feet and peeling scaly skin off. Ross is approp…

Liza was driving with Ernie... [nsfw] Liza was on a country drive with her boyfriend Ernie, when she realized she simply ""had to go"" to the bathroom. She kept waiting and waiting for a gas station to appear, but finally a rough bridge got the best of her. She screamed: ""Stop the car, Ernie!"" He did, she leaped out right in the middle of the bridge, ran to the railing, hiked her skirt, and stuck her rather large rear-end over the railing, just in the nick of time! Heaving a sigh of relief as …

The 3 brothers Three brothers named Ernie, Matt, and Steve are on a boat, when suddenly it wrecks. The brothers are the only survivors. They swim to a shore, only to be captured be natives. The natives dislike outsiders, and so they arrange to have them executed. A man with a bow aims at Ernie and asks, ""Do you have any last words?"" Well, Ernie thinks for a while, and then looks out into the distance and shouts, ""HURRICANE!!!"" All of the natives run into their huts, and Ernie gets away in a …

Bert asked Ernie if he wants ice cream ""Sure, Bert""

Bert and Ernie Bert asked Ernie if he would like any ice cream. Ernie replied ""Sure Bert""

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice-cream? Sure, Bert!

Say, Ernie, want some Ice Cream? Sherbert

Bert asks Ernie, "Ernie do you want to get ice cream?" Ernie responds "Sure Bert"

So, Burt and Ernie are just sitting at home, when Burt looks over at Ernie and asks, "Hey Ernie, do you want to get some ice cream?" Then Ernie said, "Sure Burt."

Bert and Ernie are at the beach on a hot summer's afternoon... Bert pulls out his cooler and opens it up. "Do you want some ice cream, Ernie?" "Sure Bert."

there were three race horses; ernie, bill, and ted. the three of them were good friends; they enjoyed racing each other and generally won and lost to each other equally. every evening, after the races, they went to a local bar to relax and drink some beer. they would often discuss racing techniques, their families, etc. one season, bill wasn't doing so well. he rarely beat the other two, and was worried that he'd be sent to the glue factory if his luck didn't change. one night, at the bar,…

Bert asks Ernie if he wanted to go out for ice cream. Sherbert

Bert : Hey Ernie would you like some ice-cream? Ernie : Sherbert

Bert and Ernie are at the beach on a hot summer's afternoon... Bert pulls out his cooler and opens it up.

So Burt and Ernie are just sitting at home