Bert Jokes

I don't care if Ernie and Bert are gay or not, but how do they afford that apartment? Do they even have jobs.

[interrogation] What were u doing last nite? I was killin my neighbour, Bert. Louder for the tape? [leans in] Fillin in paperwork. Busy guy.

Bert is walking with Albert through the park and says, ""I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."" Albert says, ""What's the name of his other leg?""

Bert walks up to Ernie and asks, ""Ernie, you want some ice cream?"" Ernie says, ""Sure, Bert!""

Hey Ernie, want some Ice Cream? Sure Bert! XD

What do you call people who use sandpaper to remove any evidence that Ernie and Bert are gay lovers? Bernie Sanders.

Bert goes over to Ernie, and says ""I have plans for a heist right here on Sesame Street; you want in?"" Ernie nods in enthusiastic agreement, and Bert goes on: ""Alright, here's how it's gonna happen. When the sun goes down on Sesame Street tonight, we'll make our way in. You keep a lookout, and I'll take the loot. First I'll grab an ""A,"" then a ""B,"" and then another ""A,"" and another ""B."" Ernie looks at him in disbelief ""Letters!?! We're stealing letters? Where's all the money and jewe…

Bill and Bert on a hunting trip: Bill and Bert hop into their car and head into the wilderness on a hunting trip. Upon arrival they walk into the woods and split up to hunt for prey. Bill suddenly hears Bert screaming through the trees, he follows the sound to find him getting mauled by a bear. Bill quickly shoots the bear and it runs off badly injured. He runs to his old friends side and tries to coax him awake, nothing works so he turns on his phone and calls 911. Bill blubbers down the phone …

Guy named Ross gets a new job as a school bus driver... He gets a bus that has Bert and Ernie, Grover, Big Bird, et. al. painted on it. He says ""Are you kidding me?"". Boss replies, ""Once you have some seniority we'll give you a newer bus."" So, he sets out on the run and at his first stop a boy gets on. Ross says, ""Hi. I'm your new bus driver, Ross!"" ""Hello sir! I'm Lester G!"". Kid sits down, takes his shoes off, and starts scratching at his feet and peeling scaly skin off. Ross is approp…

Bert asked Ernie if he wants ice cream ""Sure, Bert""

Bert and Ernie Bert asked Ernie if he would like any ice cream. Ernie replied ""Sure Bert""

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice-cream? Sure, Bert!

The Deaf Wife Problem Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor. 'Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If…

Bert asks Ernie, "Ernie do you want to get ice cream?" Ernie responds "Sure Bert"

A toothpaste factory had a problem. They sometimes shipped empty boxes without the tube inside. This challenged their perceived quality with the buyers and distributors. Understanding how important the relationship with them was, the CEO of the company assembled his top people. They decided to hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem. The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, and third-parties selected. Six months (and $8 …

Bert and Ernie are at the beach on a hot summer's afternoon... Bert pulls out his cooler and opens it up. "Do you want some ice cream, Ernie?" "Sure Bert."

Bert asks Ernie if he wanted to go out for ice cream. Sherbert

Bert and Ernie are at the beach on a hot summer's afternoon... Bert pulls out his cooler and opens it up.

An elderly couple Margaret and Bert

Bert asks Ernie "Ernie do you want to get ice cream?""

The Deaf Wife Problem Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Hanging down Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice cream?,"Sure Bert!

What did Ernie say when Bert asked him if he wanted some ice cream?,"Sherbert. (I can't take credit for this amazing piece of comedy. Heard it from a friend no idea if he came up with it or not.)

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice cream? Sure, Bert!