And Jokes

Using Romeo & Juliet to express how inlove you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.

Please stop giving your dogs human names. My sons Buster & Lucky are getting pretty sensitive about this!

Tom & Jerry had the realest beef of all time..... nvr said a word.... it was jus on sight ..

sometimes I'm really not sure which KKK is the worst, the racist one, or kim, kourtney & khloe.

I wonder if they ever considered calling it Jerry & Ben's.

I think between the two of them, Kim & Kanye had enough money for a box of condoms.

mom: why is there a Hispanic man climbing our balcony me: he is my romeo & I am his Juliet mom: (._. ) me: I'm just kidding call the cops

The key to Simon & Garfunkel's success was that one was big and one was small. Before, duos were always the same size. They changed the game

In space, nobody can hear you scream for ice cream. So remember, before trips to colonize the galaxy bring your Ben & Jerrys.

[my hot coworker Brenda & I at gates of Hell] BRENDA: we finally closed the gate, what should we seal it with? ME: a kiss? B: don't do that

"If anyone has any reason Kim & Kanye should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." -Taylor Swift's moment of revenge

Walk up to the guy with a popped collar and spiked hair & say "What's up, Chad?" & he'll be all "Whoa... How'd you know my name, bro?"

Before you decide to tell a woman she should go get herself "dolled up," remember, Annabelle & Chucky are dolls.

If Romeo & Juliet didn't die and were allowed to marry, they'd have kids, get fat, and eventually hate each other. So it was a happy ending

Genius move, Romeo & Juliet, for killing yourselves instead of getting married and spending the rest your lives wanting to kill each other.

So I went around to a friends house... And on his mantle was a bronze statue of an animal butt. When I asked him about it he said it was a catastrophe.

I just put a cat & a mouse in a cage and I must say, this is nothing like Tom & Jerry.

Some relationships are like Tom & Jerry. They tease each other, knock down each other irritate each other but can't live without each other.

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood. To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they walk down to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the desk they shared & where he had carved ""I love you, Sally"". On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armoured car practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, & they don't know what to do with it so they take it home. There, she counts the money, & its f…

Adding Up by Juan & Juan

eer booze and fun!' 'John & Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said ""I'm very sorry officer I didn't realize it was out I'll get it fixed right away."" Just then Jessica said ""I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed."" So the officer asked for John's license and after looking at it said ""Sir your license has exp…

An Elderly Couple An elderly couple Pauline & Frank were recently attending a church service at their retirement village. About halfway through the service, Pauline took a pen and paper out of her purse, and wrote a note and handed it to Frank. The note said:" I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?" Frank scribbled back: "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

Winter weather emergency On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife in the back woods of Minnesota were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so snow plows can get through conveniently". So the good wife went out and moved her car as instructed. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are ex…

Little Lucy & Little Johnny Little Lucy was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Lucy, who created the universe?" When Lucy didn't stir, Little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty! " shouted Lucy and the teacher said, "Very good," and Lucy fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Lucy, "Who is our Lord …

Bob gets a job A rather dimwitted fellow named bob miraculously lands a job at a donut shop next to his house. His first day on the job, a customer enters and asks "How much are these donuts?" Bob replies "I don't know." Fortunately, the manager comes in and begins feeding Bob his lines, telling Bob to say "Only one dollar." And Bob thusly tells the customer. The customer then asks "Are these donuts fresh?" To which Bob replies "I don't know." His manager then instructs Bob to say "Yes, ver…