Wikipedia Jokes

The blonde and the lawyer. A blonde is sat on a plane waiting for everyone to sit down and to get airborne. A guy in an expensive looking suit sits along side her and introduces himself. Disinterested, she says hi and turns towards the window. He asks if she'd like to play a game. She says no. Just after take off he tries again. Explaining this time that the game is question and answer. He asks a question and if she knows the answer he pays her $5. If not... she pays him. She snaps back at him t…

So a panda walks into a bar A panda walks into a bar one day and orders a sandwich. The server brings it over to him, and he eats it quietly. The panda then pulls out a gun, and shoots the server. The bartender stands up in shock and ask him just what the hell he thinks he's doing. The panda simply replies, ""I'm a panda, dumbass, look it up"". Then the panda gets up and exits the bar. So the bartender goes home, fires up his computer, and Googles 'panda'. He looks on Wikipedia and the descripti…

What do you get when you cross an optic with a mental object? An eye-dea. I can't take credit, because this joke was created by a computer (The STANDUP system). Below is the link to the Wikipedia page about computational humor, and a few more (albeit bad) jokes. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computational_humor

Now that China has blocked Wikipedia, they're considering replacing it with... ... Xikipedia!

In response to Wikipedia's ""price of a cup of coffee is all we need"" fundraiser. I like my coffee like my wikipedia. Free!

The ""Personal life"" section of my Wikipedia article is actually pretty accurate. It's non-existent.

Science joke time! What happens if you're late to extremophile school? You get a tardy grade. ([Here's a Wikipedia article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tardigrade) that explains the joke if you don't get it.)

Got an email from an airline inviting me to""Discover America"". I've replied with a link to the Wikipedia page about Christopher Columbus.

To quote Wikipedia on Chris Mathews of the Seahawks.... In Super Bowl XLIX versus the New England Patriots, he had his first NFL career catch, a 44-yard pass from Russell Wilson which led to a Seahawks touchdown. He then caught an 11-yard pass at the end of the first half for a touchdown to tie up the score of the game at 14 to 14. He is widely considered the best receiver of all time.[citation needed]

Two vampires go on vacation I read [this vampire joke](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2qph5b/one_of_the_funniest_vampire_jokes/) and it reminded me of one I heard many years ago. --- Two vampires were out for a stroll in Transylvania. ""You know, I have been getting sick of eating the same thing every night."" The first said to the second. ""I was just thinking the same thing"" the second replied. ""It will still be a few months until tourism picks up again too"" he lamented. ""Perhaps …

What is ""attempted theft"" exactly? I mean it's not like you see school librarians seeing a student use Wikipedia on one of the computers and puts them in detention for ""attempted plagiarism""

The Wikipedia entry for 'Toe Injury' is a stub.

Ancient Greek Joke: A barber, a bald man and an absent-minded professor take a journey together... They have to camp overnight, and so decide to take turns watching the luggage. When it's the barber's turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor. When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says ""How stupid is that barber? He's woken up the bald man instead of me."" [From the wikipedia for ""Joke""](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke)

A barber, a bald man and an absent-minded professor take a journey together... They have to camp overnight, and so decide to take turns watching the luggage. When it's the barber's turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor. When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says ""How stupid is that barber? He's woken up the bald man instead of me. I saw this joke on the Wikipedia article for ""joke."" It's interesting how, even though this jok…

Wikipedia told me a joke today. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ""That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ""The driver just insulted me!"" The man says: ""You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World's_funniest_joke

Graduation speech: I would like to thank Wikipedia, and copy/paste. I'm out bitc$es

I wanted to learn about amputees on Wikipedia But I didn't learn much, because the article was a stub.

Found this one on Wikipedia of all places Two young women are drinking tea together. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. One of the women opens the door and finds a courier with a big great bouquet of roses. She walks inside and reads to her friend: *"Much love from your boyfriend!"* She immediately groans out: *"You know what this'll mean? This'll mean I'll be lying on my back with my legs spread wide open for the next two weeks!"* To which her friend says, *"Don't you have a vase?"*

Found this one on Wikipedia of all places Two young women are drinking tea together. Suddenly

I was accused of illegally downloading the entirety of Wikipedia I told them I could explain everything

What do you call someone who LOVES Wikipedia? A Wikipedophile!