What if I color on you? What if I run a truck along your back? Steal your toy? Throw a ball? Spit food at you? - My toddler, wooing the dog

Cat saves kid? Please. My cat would've pushed me into traffic, stolen my identity, & would be living it up in Mexico by now.

a duck and a skunk(offensive) a mother duck and her baby are walking along with a mother skunk and her baby. they come upon a road and the mothers cross first, to make sure its safe. a car comes and the mothers are killed. the baby duck turns to the baby skunk and says""my mother is gone and I haven't learned anything from her, I don't even know what I am"" the skunk says""you have a bill, feathers, and webbed feet. you must be a duck... but then what am I?"" the duck says""well, you aren't quit…

A woman steps on to a public bus holding her newborn baby... ...when the bus driver looks at her child and exclaims, ""Oh my god! That is the ugliest baby I have ever seen!"" Disgusted, the woman doesn't say anything and proceeds to the back of the bus. Seeing the upset look on her face, the man she is sitting next to asks what the problem is to which she replies, ""That driver insulted me when I got on. "" ""Well you can't just sit there and take it!"" he said. ""Go on up there and show him who…