Vancouver Jokes

Israel has an Olympic skier in Vancouver which makes me wonder if he thinks it's a shalom competition.

Canadians would be chagrined to know how many Americans think a "Vancouver" is a big tarp for your VW microbus.

A joke for Canadians, sort of An American couple is at YVR waiting at the luggage carousel for their suitcases. It happens to be Grey Cup Weekend in Vancouver, and fans from all across the country are arriving for the big game. Not too far from the American couple are standing are a couple of Roughriders fans, fully face-painted and decked out in the green and white. Green horns, furry hats, cowbells... the whole deal. The wife is very curious and says to her husband, ""What strange people... wh…

A bank robbery . . . A hooded robber burst into a Vancouver bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave Vancouver customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silen…

An Chinese girl is working in Toronto... and she decides it's time to get a boyfriend. She starts heading out to bars in the evenings, but every bar she walks into, the men turn, look at her, and look back to their drinks. This goes on for a few weeks and she starts to get discouraged. Next thing she knows, she gets a transfer to Vancouver, and thinks to herself that this is good because there are a lot of Asian men there and one will surely be interested. After she moves she starts going back t…

Cowboys and Indians Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Calgary , Alberta, while awaiting their respective flights. One is a native Indian from the Sarcee Reservation. Another is a cowboy on his way to Vancouver for a livestock auction. The third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student newly arrived at the University of Calgary from the Middle East. Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Albertans learn that the Arab is a devou…

A little girl says to her mother: "Mummy, when you were away at work a strange lady came around"... "Not now," says Mummy. "Wait until Daddy gets home." So they wait until Daddy gets home, and then Mummy says "Now dear, what were you saying about Daddy and the strange lady?" And Daddy starts to say something but Mummy says, "You keep quiet - I'll be talking to my attorney in the morning. Carry on, dear." "Well," says the little girl, "Daddy told me to stay downstairs while they went upstairs…

An unemployed guy sees an ad in the paper that says "Photographer wanted for Miami-based luxury bikini line". Thinking it to be a joke, the guy calls the number in the ad. "Hello," he says. "Is that photographer ad a joke?" "No," says the voice on the other line. "One of our photographers died suddenly last week, and we're looking for a new one." "Cool! I've been looking for a new job for a while, and this seems like it could be a very fine job for me." "Great! Are you married? Our models te…

A beautiful blonde boards a plane to Vancouver... As soon as the plane takes off

What did Victoria say to Vancouver? I'll BC-ing you later.