Ups Jokes

The rash. It's the beginning of a new school year on a college campus. This doctor is getting rather busy with physicals and check ups on the campus.

called UPS in Germany today to ask when they were shipping my Oculus Rift they said ""VR ready""

I tried to do an intense workout that involved 500 sit ups per day But my body couldn't take the ab use

My computer won't stop crying and singing about break ups... That's the last time I buy A Dell.

Life is like a basketball... It has its ups and downs and is controlled by people that are taller and make more money than you.

Why can't t-rexs do push ups? Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

Break ups are the worst in China You see her face everywhere

What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted?,"One is white and stinks and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)

So, how do you like your job as an elevator repairman?","Meh it has its ups and downs

OK - who knows their Soupy Sales lines?,"I'll give you the set-ups you give us the lines.

What are some jokes along the lines of "the elevator business has its ups and downs"? Any other stereotypical job/industry comments/jokes would also be greatly appreciated (even though they're groan-inducing). Thanks (in advance)!

What did the pilot say to the co-pilot right before the UPS plane crash in Alabama? Too soon.

What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted? One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)

Hey, which is the best/funniest stand up comedy you've ever listened to? I was watching Dave Chappelle's For What It's Worth yesterday and honestly I'm not a stand up comedy guy but this shit was real bruh! For the part I watched it was funny as hell. This is probably the fourth I've watched following Kevin Hart's main stand ups. Do you have any that is way better than this for us redditers? P.S - I hope this is the right subreddit if not :p

Why are knives always the funniest students at utensil school? Because they're the class cut-ups.

You know what they say about living on Navy ships? It has its ups and downs.

So, how do you like your job as an elevator repairman? Meh, it has its ups and downs

Why is UPS so great? They always deliver!

What do you call the higher-ups of the World Health Organisation? The who's-who of WHO!

OK - who knows their Soupy Sales lines? I'll give you the set-ups, you give us the lines.

What does a stoner do to work out? Kush ups

What's it like being bipolar? It has its ups and downs.

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.

Why is it best to ship boxes using a UPS truck? The DOWNS truck is a little slow.

A man walked into a kebab shop and was surprised to see Father Christmas serving behind the counter. "Santa!" he said. "What are you doing working here? Shouldn't you be up at the North Pole preparing for the big day?" Santa let out a long sigh. He had really fallen on hard times. The red suit was splattered with chilli sauce and bits of lettuce, his apron was a mess, and he looked as if the last thing in the world he wanted to be doing was serving kebabs. Eventually he admitted: "I'm afraid my …