United Nations Jokes

You can call me xenophobic... But I think the United Nations has too many foreigners.

America, you're fired. Love, United Nations

I work for the United Nations I have been UN employed for a while

International relations The United Nations noticed that there was a lot of dissent among its ranks and relationships were strained. The UN leaders called a meeting and came up with a plan to increase morale that was discussed and agreed upon by all members. The plan was to take a representative from three different countries and place them on a deserted island for a year. They asked for volunteers. The representative from Greece stood up and shared how one of their own should be on the island be…

The US, France, Germany and Canada are commissioned to write a report on elephant mating... [Canadian Joke] Once upon a time, four different countries the U.S., Germany, France, and Canada were asked by the United Nations to publish a study on the mating behaviours of elephants. The U.S. sold the project to the lowest private bidder, who wrote ""How to Make a Million Dollars by Raising Elephants."" The French wrote ""The Courting Rituals of Elephants."" The Germans, in a timely and efficient m…

An airliner is flying over the ocean, carrying representatives from the United Nations. About halfway across, they realize they don't have enough fuel. The pilot says they need to drop some weight because a lighter plane uses less fuel. So they dump all the luggage. The plane is still too heavy. They dump all the seats. Still too heavy. With nothing left to dump, and a deadly crash inevitable, an Englishman yells, ""God save the Queen!"" and jumps to his death. The plane is still too heavy. A Fr…

The U.N. initiates a poll... The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world." The poll was a total failure. The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".

The United Nations world-wide survey The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world. The survey went like this: "We want your honest opinion on how to find a solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world" The survey of course, turned out to be a total and abject failure: The People in western Europe didn't know what the word 'shortage' meant. The people in eastern Europe had no idea what the expression 'honest' was supposed to mean.…

A Brazilian friend told me this joke yesterday The United Nations decided to conduct a world-wide survey. So they sent a letter to the representatives of each country with the following question: "Please, with all honesty, give your opinion on the scarcity of food in the rest of the world". The survey was a huge failure. Why? None of the European countries knew the meaning of "scarcity". The African nations did not know what "food" was. The Cubans were puzzled and asked for elaboration on the…

'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'Okay Google' 'Okay Google, who?' 'Sorry I didn't catch that' 'OKAY GOOGLE WHO?' 'The World Health Organization is a specialized agency of the United Nations that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland. '

Netanyahu, while visiting the United Nations, overheard chants of "free Palestine!" He thought to himself, "What a bargain!"

It is a little known fact that the Dutch pioneered genetic engineering. Back in the 80s they had genetically engineered a strain of grain that ended up making musical tones when the wind blew across it. They trade marked it as Holland Oats. The United Nations refused to recognize the trade mark, saying "I can't go for that, no can do."

A Brazilian friend told me this joke yesterday The United Nations decided to conduct a world-wide survey. So they sent a letter to the representatives of each country with the following question: ""Please

The United Nations is like a black father You know it exists but it's just never there when you need it .

The United Nations world-wide survey The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world.

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?,"It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece and the breakup of China.

What's the difference a teckel and the United Nations? There's none. They both have big hearts but a short reach.

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving? It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

The Iranian Ambassador to the United Nations met George W. Bush on a recent visit to New York. At the end of his stay, the ambassador turned to Bush and said: "I have just one question about what I have seen in America. My son watches this show called Star Trek, and in it there is Chekov, who is Russian, Scottie, who is Scottish, and Sulu, who is Chinese, but there are no Arabs. My son is very upset and does not understand why there are not any Iranians in Star Trek. Bush smiled: "That's because…