Spain Jokes

What is the difference between Spain and edge of table Cup stays longer on edge of table

Spaniards and coffee It is Spain. A man walks into a coffee shop. He orders a coffee and asks when it will be ready. The clerk says ""In 5 minutes. It is our policy that if it is not ready in 5 minutes, it's free."" The man waits 15 minutes. He comes back and asks ""When it be ready?"" The clerk says ""manana.""

Two English Muslims go on holiday in Spain... Two English Muslims go on a long holiday in Spain, and they're having a wonderful time until one day the weather turns and it rains for three days straight. On the fourth day, one of them looks out of the window in the morning. ""Ahmed, I think we can visit some of the local buildings today. We should bring an umbrella though."" ""Ah, but Hissam, how is the weather looking on the forecast? Is it Sunni, or is it Shi'ite?""

I hurt myself holidaying in Spain this year. It was a Sevilla injury.

Amal & Juan A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ""Amal."" The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him ""Juan."" Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ""But they are twins -- if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."" *I didn't write this, and it's not intended to be a repost, just liked it a…

Topical Jokes 4/10 (Special mention to JonasPolsky, you've inspired me to write one a day!) - Spain is raising its age of consent from 14 to 16. Meanwhile the bankers at the European Central Bank are saying that they might not be able to keep their interest rate low for the next 2 years. - The French National Assembly have decided to put three artificial beehives on its roof to promote urban greenery. Meanwhile, inspired, the bees are now demanding 'liberty, equality and fraternity' after the Qu…

Spain is raising its age of consent from 14 to 16... meanwhile, the spokesman at the European Central Bank said they might not be able to keep their interest rates low for the next two years. @forcedtobefree http://now.msn.com/spain-raises-age-of-consent-marriage-age

The Balls of the Bull A man from Texas takes a trip to Spain. The first night of his trip he goes to a Tapas Bar. His waiter comes over and the Texan says ""Bring me the meatiest most delicious dish you have"". The waiter returns with two enormous meatballs covered in unctuous sauce. He devours them and asks the waiter what was in them. ""Senor, these are the balls of the bull killed today at the bullfight"" ""They were delicious, I shall come back every night of my trip and eat them"" The dutif…

My girlfriend told me she was pregnant, so I started looking for some names... ...in the end I chose Juan Carlos and took the first flight to Spain.

After my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I decided to start thinking about names. In the end I went for Juan Carlos and hopped on the next flight to Spain.

Do you know how many people were gored in Spain during the running of the bulls? Same as last year: Not enough

Spain are blaming their loss this evening on the weather. Apparently it was 2 Chile.

Today was the annual Running of the Bulls in Spain. So if you're sick of all the fake injuries at the World Cup, get ready for some real ones.

Actor Orlando Bloom threw a punch at Justin Bieber last night during an argument at a night club in Spain. Orlando's hand was pretty sore today, you know, from all the high-fives he got.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named ""Amal."" The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him ""Juan."" Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his Mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ""But they're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.""

Part of rebuilding New Orleans causes residents to often be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client; You've got to love this lawyer...... A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.…

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ""Amal."" The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him ""Juan."" Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ""They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.""

Q: How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Juan

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

If a man was born in England raised in America and died in Spain what does that make him? Dead.

As the airliner was preparing to land in Madrid in a rainstorm an English passenger seemed noticeably afraid. ""What's the problem fellow?"" asked his seat mate. ""Surely"" said the Englishman ""you've heard the saying 'The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rains!!'""

The greatest swordsman in the world. There was a competition going on in Spain to see who the worlds greatest swordsman was. The final three competitors had been chosen and were brought on stage in front of the anticipating crowd to showcase their talent. The first swordsman stepped forward causing the crowd to hush. One of the judges proceeded to release a small black fly and let it buzz around the stage. With the flick of his wrist and faster than you can blink the fly hit the ground in two p…

The Geography of a man and women THE GEOGRAPHY OF WOMAN AND MEN The Geography of a Woman Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable plac…

The tale of twins A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Communication Problem! There was this Asian lady married to an Spanish gentleman and they lived in Spain. The poor lady was not very proficient in Spanish, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork leg…