Que Jokes

I was lost in Tijuana. But I knew I had to meet my buddy at Sotano Suizo at 8:00. I came upon a gentleman with a donkey, so I asked him, ""Senor? Que hora es, por favor?"" He looked at me, looked at the donkey, and lifted its balls up with his right hand. ""It's about 7:30, amigo."" I said, ""Holy shit! That's incredible! How the hell can you tell time by grabbing a donkey's balls?"" ""Very simple, amigo,"" said the gentleman. ""Sit right here. First, you grab the donkey's balls and you lift the…

Que es eso? *takes a bite* Queso!

I asked my Spanish friend if he knew what potassium is... He didn't. All he said was ""Que?""

Carlos is chilling with his baby brother, Pedro... ...and Carlos says, ""Quieres escuchar una broma, Pedro?"" *(Do you want to hear a joke, Pedro?)* To which little Pedro replies, ""Si, por supuesto!"" *(Yes, of course!)* And Carlos says, ""Esta seguro? Puede ser demasiado divertido..."" *(Are you sure? It may be too funny...)* ""Que hago! QUE HAGO!"" *(I do! I DO!)* ""Bueno, si tu lo dices. Esta usted listo?"" *(Okay, if you say so. Are you ready?)* ""SI! SI! SI!"" *(YES! YES! YES!)* ""Que grup…

A Spanish man who spoke no English went into a department store... A Spanish man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. ""Quiero calcetines"" said the man. ""I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here."" said the salesgirl. ""No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines."" said the man. ""Well, these shirts are on sale this week."" declared the salesgirl. ""No, no quiero…

Seasonal joke I wrote (in Spanish) I'm a native English speaker, and I wrote this joke while on vacation in Mexico at Christmas time: I have no idea how to do accents - My Spanish is pretty much just spoken... Que dijo la persona que estaba callendo de un edificio muy muy alto en diciembre? Feliz gravidad! (Translation: What did the person falling from the very very tall building in december say? Happy Gravity!)

b b q why is it that latinos don't bar b que? the rice and beans keep falling thru the grill

Spanish joke... Un pez dijo al otro pez, ""Que hace tu padre?"" Nada

Yuppie buys a house in the country A Yuppie decides to buy a plot of land in the countryside and build a house. Unfortunately, his neighbor is an old farmer who likes to spread his cows' manure on his fields every time the Yuppie throws a backyard cookout. So one day the Yuppie sees the farmer and lets him know that he's going to have one of his cookouts the coming Sunday, and asks the farmer if he could delay his spraying until the next day. The farmer thinks about it for a second, and then rep…

Une blague en Francais - For french people only Une femme avoue a son mari qu'elle a un fantasme depuis plusieurs annees de faire l'amour pendant qu'un grand noir leur fait du vent avec une feuille de palmier. Apres y avoir bien reflechi, le mari decide de demander a son collegue de l'aider. Le lendemain, ils sont donc tous les 3 (la femme, le mari et le collegue) dans la chambre a coucher. Le mari commence a prendre sa femme pendant que le collegue bouge la feuille de palmier. Apres quelques mi…

What did one Spanish speaking white supremacist say to the other Spanish speaking white supremacist after eating a piece of delicious cake? Que queque!

Funny Spanish joke with english explanation My mom told me this one. Un pinareno va al blockbuster a rentar una pelicula. Asere estoy buscando una pelicula que me dijeron que es buenisima y se llama Tu Culo es un Parque clerk: que?! Como se llama? Guy: Tu Culo es un parque! No la conoces? Me dicen que es buenisima y famosa. Clerk: estas seguro que se llama tu Culo es un parque? Guy: Si! Me la dijeron en ingles ""Jur-ass-is-park"" tu Culo es un parque! EXPLANATION A Pinareno is basically the Cuba…

An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to the neurosurgeon and asked, ""Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?"" ""Sure, it's easy,"" replied the neurosurgeon. ""All I have to do is cut out 1/3 of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie."" He was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation. However, the neurosurgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting 1/3 of the patient's brain, the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain. The surgeo…

A Spanish man who spoke no English went into a department store... A Spanish man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines" said the man. "I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here." said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines." said the man. "Well, these shirts are on sale this week." declared the salesgirl. "No, no quie…

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too) *It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:* A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool. The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?" Then the little Dimitri, all excited, answered: "Yes! I do!" The thing is, the little Dimitri has no arms. So the lifeguard …

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man. "I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man. "Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero cami…

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man. "I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man. "Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man. "I still don't know …

Our friend Jose has this annoying habit of yelling “Que?’ in the middle of a conversation, and we all get startled. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

What racist group do confused Spanish people join? The Que? Que? Que?

What do you get when you crossbreed a Chihuahua with a German Shepherd? A que-nein.

Why didn't hitler ever cook hot dogs at a bar-b-que? He always tends to burn the franks.

Only 4 percent of Texas residents think there is an immigration problem... The other 96% said ""que dijo?"

A man is standing in the street holding a sign saying ""punch me""... A man is standing in the street holding a sign saying ""punch me"". There's a que of people all waiting to get a hit. A man walks up to the que of people and asks ""What's going on here?"". They all turn to him and reply ""This is the punch line""

Que es la nombre con un bebe burro? un burrito

What did the unimpressed cheese say? Que... so?