Que Jokes

"Que?" (Spanish Inquisition)

"I am Daenerys Targaryen. The Unburnt. Mother of Dragons. Breaker of chains. Que-" Job interviewer: Three references is fine.

Wife: Is Mexican food ok for dinner? Don't just text back k. Husband: Que

VETERINARIA EN PARANA hola lei el blog donde aparece una chica con un problema con su perrito de moquillo nervioso, y pense k tu talvez me puedas aconsejar: lo que pasa es que yo tengo una perrita pug de 4 meses y medio y me dicen que tiene moquillo al parecer nervioso, y constantemente comvulciona anteriormente no era capaz de caminar y ahora ya lo hace un poco mareada pero la hace bien doctor quiciera que por favor pudiera aconcejarme y darme una opinion sobre k puedo hacer la verdad estoy muy…

Que dijo un mar al otro? ola

A white man walks up to a doctor and says, ""Hey, I want you to make me black"". The doctor says, ""OK, but I'll have to make you 70% darker and 30% stupider. Are you okay with that?"" The man agrees, and then the doctor performs the operation. After the man wakes back up, the doctor says to him, ""I'm sorry, but I screwed up. I accidentally made you 70% stupider and 30% darker"". The man replies, ""Que?""

A Mexican businessman visits the US and forgot to pack an article of clothing, so he goes to a store. He doesn't speak any English and no one in the store speaks Spanish, but the employee still wants to help him. Employee holds up a shirt and points at it, but the man says, ""No."" Employee holds up a pair of pants, but the man says, ""No."" Employee holds up a pair of socks, and the man get excited, he wants to say ""That. Yeah that's it!"" so he says ""Eso. Si que es!"" The employee says, ""We…

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. ""Quiero calcetines,"" said the man. ""I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here,"" said the salesgirl. ""No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,"" said the man. ""Well, these shirts are on sale this week,"" declared the salesgirl. ""No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines,"" repeated the man. ""I still don't k…

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. ""Quiero calcetines,"" said the man. ""I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here,"" said the salesgirl. ""No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,"" said the man. ""Well, these shirts are on sale this week,"" declared the salesgirl. ""No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines,"" repeated the man. ""I still don't k…

A Mexican immigrant goes to Walmart. A few days after entering the United States, and after days of walking, a mexican immigrant who does not speak English goes to WalMart in order to get some new clothes. He looks confused so an employee tries to help him out. First they go to the shirts, but the Mexican, shakes his head; then they go over to the pants and he again shakes his head. They move on to the next section and he gets very excited: ""Esso, si que es!"".

How do you get info from a french dude? You est-ce que question

How do you spell socks in Spanish? Eso si que es.

Que hace el pez cuando esta aburrido? Nada.

What did fettuccine say to rigatoni? Que pasta?

A bandit robs a bank in Tucson The sheriff and his posse catch up to him far out in the desert but he doesn't have the money on him, and the bandit only speaks Spanish. The commotion catches the attention of an old lady in a shack nearby. The sheriff shouts out to her, ""Ma'am, can you help us, do you happen to speak Spanish?"" ""Yes sir, I speak Spanish."" The sheriff and his posse roughly move the bandit to her, and the Sheriff asks her to ask the bandit where he hid the money. ""No se nada,""…

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too) *It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:* A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool. The lifeguard asks to the class: ""Does any one of you already know how to swim?"" Then the little Dimitri, all excited, answered: ""Yes! I do!"" The thing is, the little Dimitri has no arms. So the lifeguard do…

Le dice una madre a su hijo ""Me ha dicho un pajarito que te drogas!""... El hijo responde: ""La que se debe estar drogando eres tu que andas hablando con pajaros""

estoy embarazada - Mi amor, estoy embarazada. Que te gustaria que fuera? - Una broma?.

Crees que soy muy bajita? La novia pregunta al novio - Amor Crees que soy muy bajita? - Pues tienes una estatura comun. - De veras? - Si, comun-duende. jajaja que grosero verdad

What did the Mexican say to the Italian? Que pasta?

Read out loud for full affect * ""Knock knock"" * ""Who's there"" * ""I eat mop"" * ""I eat mop who"" * *que laughter Gets em every time

How can you tell you're at a gay Bar-B-Que? All the hot dogs taste like shit....

A man asks his dog, ""Can you speak English?"" The dog replies, ""Por supuesto que puedo hombre no tonta, soy un perro!""

Que tipo de oso es muy desconocido? El misterioso! I'll see myself out now...

Parto /plz translate Una madre estaba dando a luz, cuando sale el bebe. El medico, como siempre se suele hacer, le golpea el culete. El bebe no llora. Hace una segunda comprobacion y nada. Le pega una trompada y el bebe no llora. El medico lo tira al suelo y lo cose a patadas, y el beba nada. La madre desesperada le grita al medico: - Que haces hijo de puta!. Y el medico descojonandose de la risa le dice: - Jajaja, te lo creiste!. NACIO MUERTO!.