Q&A Jokes

Jokes

Did you know a man gets run over by a car in New York City every five minutes? Whoa, he should really get out of the road!

#New York City #Driving #Q&A

What do you call a website that steals all of Reddit's Hitler jokes? Nein Gag.

#Reddits #Hitler #Technology #Q&A

Whats pink and always slippery? A pink slipper

#Q&A

Quack Quack Quack Three ducks are in court. The first duck goes up to the judge. The judge asks, "What's your name"? The first duck replies, "Quack" The judge asks, " What did you do, Quack"? Quack says, "I got caught blowing bubbles at the pond". The judge sentences Quack to 3 months in jail. The second duck comes up to the judge and the judge asks him his name. The second duck says, "Quack Quack". The judge asked, "What did you do, Quack Quack"? Quack Quack replied, "I got caught blowing bubb…

#Animals #Lawyer #Q&A

How do you kill a circus? Go straight for the juggler

#Q&A

The difference between before/after getting hired When Timmy went in for an interview at ABC company, he was hired after a very brief interview. A little skeptical at first, Timmy asked the company representative a few questions. It went like this: ABC: Trust me, this company could really use someone new Timmy: If there is too much work, I'm going to quit... ABC: We'd NEVER let something like that happen Timmy: Do employees get every Saturday and Sunday off? ABC: That's a granted. Timmy…

#Abc Company #Dept #Work #Q&A

An old lady gets a plastic surgery... She is glad with the results so much, that she decides to give herself a test. She goes around town to ask people if they could guess her age. First, she goes in a local McDonald's. She asks the cashier: - Excuse me, young man. Can you guess how old I am? - Hmm.. I don't know.. 32 maybe? - No! I'm actually 45! She's glad. Then she goes to buy some shoes. She asks the lady showing her a pair: - Oh sorry! Can you by any chance guess how old I am? - Hm.…

#Mcdonalds #Doctor #Q&A

What's a sailor's least favorite color? Maroon

#Q&A

An American visiting the U.K ....... has had a little too much to drink one particular night. He noticed two larger females sitting in the corner of the pub so he walks over to spark up a conversation and he says, hello ladies, I couldn’t help but notice your accents. ……Are you both from Ireland? They sneer at him and the one says it’s Wales! So the man says my apologies. ….Are you whales from Ireland?

#Ireland #Wales #Bar #Q&A

What do you call a body in a morgue which hasn't been viewed by anyone yet? Remains to be seen.

#Q&A

Why doesn't Mexico have an olympic team? Because anyone that can run, jump or swim is already over the border!

#Mexico #Q&A

Most popular Who is the most popular guy in a nudist colony? The guy that can carry two pots of coffee and a dozen donuts. Who is the most popular girl? The girl that eats the last donut.

#Q&A

One More For All The Philosophy Majors Out There The Physics major asks: How does it work? The Engineering major asks: How do you build it? The Accounting major asks: How much will it cost? The Philosophy major asks: Do you want fries with that?

#Science #Engineer #Q&A

Why didn't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken 'came' in another box!

#Ken #Q&A

What does non-alcoholic beer and going down on you cousin have in common? Sure they taste the same, but it just ain't right.

#Bar #Q&A

If Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Dennis Dugan are in a plane and the plane crashes, who will survive? American comedy films.

#Adam Sandler #Rob Schneider #Dennis Dugan #Q&A

How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes!

#Q&A

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme. Courtesy of u/AVeryHappyCamper

#Q&A

What goes clop, clop, bang bang bangbangbang!clop,clop,clop? An amish driveby

#Q&A

What is the difference between cats and commas? This might be better suited for /r/riddles but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

#Q&A

What does it mean to give more than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these Questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then: H-A-…

#M N O #Q&A

Guess my age? A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look …

#Mcdonalds #Religion #Q&A

Hear are sum morre punny science jokes How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically. Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si. The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction. Chemistry puns Im in my element. What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon! Edit 1 just thought of this. What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make? BaCoN

#Science #Dark Humor #Q&A

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupines have their pricks on the outside

#Bmw #Q&A

If I say something, in the middle of a forest... If I say something, in the middle of a forest...with no women around to hear me... ...am I still wrong? [credit](http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=90423#10)

#Q&A