NFL Jokes

The three undefeated NFL teams remaining are all named after cats. the Carolina Panthers, the Cincinnati Bengals, and the New England Cheet-ahs.

When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps? Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown?

NFL jokes Insert any team you don't like in blank spot: What's the best way to keep ___ out of your front yard? Put field goal post up! Why does President Obama want to send ____ QB to Syria? The CIA are convinced ____QB is the only American who can overthrow Bashir Assad. What do ____ have in common with postal service? Neither deliver on Sunday. What's the difference between a dollar bill and _____? You can still get four quarters from a dollar bill. What's the difference between a _____ fan a…

Why didn't Mayweather become an NFL QB? Because he couldn't READ the defense!

Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL. But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards? Oher's NFL career

There was a fire There was a woman in a burning building about 5 stories up, and along comes a firefighter. He wasn't your ordinary firefighter, he was a pro football player. So, this woman is holding her baby out the window when the firefighter yells to her "" Mam, for the sake of your baby throw him to me."". The woman replies ""No! You'll drop him!"". The man, wanting to save the child, tells the woman this, "" I played little league football and never dropped a pass! I played 4 years of high…

The NFL just got a new official sponsor. V8

If 50 Shades of Grey were in the NFL... ...it'd be on the Commissioner's Exempt list.

The NFL was considering issuing small bats to referees to ""knock"" the balls to check for proper inflation during the Super Bowl... but then they realized that was queer.

To quote Wikipedia on Chris Mathews of the Seahawks.... In Super Bowl XLIX versus the New England Patriots, he had his first NFL career catch, a 44-yard pass from Russell Wilson which led to a Seahawks touchdown. He then caught an 11-yard pass at the end of the first half for a touchdown to tie up the score of the game at 14 to 14. He is widely considered the best receiver of all time.[citation needed]

Dear NFL: Super Bowl. I'll just let them process this a little bit. They should do something by the time I'm up tomorrow.

Let's have all your football jokes, I'll start . . . ""What's the most dangerous job in the NFL?"" Sucking the air out of Tom Brady's balls.

What is green and white, throws pig skin, and is the worst team in the NFL? The Jets.

If Adrian Peterson is banned from the NFL, he can always try baseball. Who doesn't need a switch hitter?!

NFL Not Female Lovers Nail Females Limp Nasty F...ckig Liars Not Fair Losers

The NFL these days Hide yo kids, hide yo wife

Adrian Peterson just announced his retirement from the NFL and will be joining the Minnesota Twins as a switch hitter. (Sorry, news was too depressing not to joke about it)

What's the worst part of an NFL wedding? Getting knocked out by the Rice.

Aasians hate the NFL Cause theres no more rice

A joke from a Cowboys fan about tonight's Hall-of-Fame game. Tonight's NFL game will start off the preseason in a game featuring one of the most storied and wonderous franchises in the history of the State of New York... playing against the Giants.

Micheal Sam will have the most sacks in the NFL next year... ....on his face

The NFL has got some messed up rules Kill some dogs, go to jail, then come on back and play. But say the ""N"" word ...... You in big trouble sucka

An NFL chuckler If the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are called the Bucs, and the Jacksonville Jaguars are called the Jags, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

Who's the nicest player in the NFL? Drew Brees. The guy's a saint.