Ray Rice. Michael Vick. And now Adrian Peterson. Congratulations, NFL. Your woman/children/animal abuse trifecta is officially complete.

BREAKING NEWS: Adrian Peterson has been traded to the Minnesota Twins They needed a switch hitter

If Adrian Peterson is banned from the NFL, he can always try baseball. Who doesn't need a switch hitter?!

The Minnesota Twins have just signed Adrian Peterson to a 3 year deal. More details to come. All we know is Adrian will be a switch hitter.