Nevada Jokes

A blonde is driving her car down a desert road in Nevada to meet up with her family. The heat starts to get to her and so she turns on the AC, and changes the channel on the radio so that she maybe distracted from a long winded journey. As she looks back up onto the windshield a cat lays in the middle of the road and she swerves to avoid it. The car flips and is wrecked. The doors fall of the hinges, the hood exposes the engine, and the tires have all blown out. However, the blonde is unharmed. …

Why did the Nevada skunk cross the state border? To follow the smell of legal dank skunk buds.

Mission Impossible United State Air Force has a high security, super secret base in Nevada, known simply as ""Area 51?"" One afternoon, a Cessna landed at this ""secret"" base. The aircraft was immediately impounded & the pilot was interrogated. The pilot's story was that - he took off from Vegas, got lost & spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot & held him overnight during the investigation. By the nex…

TIL that Paradise, Nevada was completely paved over at one point. To put up a parking lot

Weekly Offering (NSFW) One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. ""Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,"" he stated.…

Cherry Hill A High school class in Nevada is missing two of their students, the teacher after already half way through the class becomes angry that they had still not shown up. She runs to the door to go find them, when a girl walks in, the teachers says, ""Where have you been all this time?!?"". The girl replies, ""I've been on top of Cherry Hill."" She tells her to go to her seat and says,"" I've never heard of Cherry Hill before."" Suddenly there is a knock on the door the teacher rushes over…

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as ""Area 51?"" Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their ""secret"" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI backgroun…

A fine wine The Navajo woman accepted my offer of a lift to the reservation, but didn't seem inclined to say much more. I noticed a look of ill-disguised disapproval as she got in the car, lingering for a moment on my exposed cleavage, but that was all she gazed stonily ahead while the car pulled away, leaving a trail of hot Nevada dust in the rear view mirror. After a few failed attempts at small talk, and my knowledge of her culture exhausted, I kept quiet, and concentrated instead on the eve…

Two Mexican men have just crossed the border into the U.S. They are now wandering through the Arizona desert. In short time, they become lost amongst the sand, praying for any sign of civilization. They spend days out there, and are on the verge of death from heat and starvation. When suddenly, a shining oasis appears before them. The water is crystal clear and it is surrounded with lush foliage. And in the center is one specific tree. It is a majestic plant and from it's branches hang the most …

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small churchfound a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. ""Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,"" he stated. ""Why yes,"" she replie…

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found a pink envelope containing $1000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. ""Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,"" he stated. ""Why yes,"" s…

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. ""Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,"" he stated. ""…

Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas. As he is exiting the plane someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims ""Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead Elvis! How have you been?"" F…

The Vet One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated. "Why yes…

An archaeologist is visiting a small town in Nevada... And he's just ambling around, enjoying the play of the autumn light on the terracotta and adobe-colored buildings. He rounds a corner and is surprised to see the most, bar none, *stunningly* beautiful alley he's ever come across. It may sound like he's a bit nerdy, but we all have our things we love, and he's a lover of old streets. The ground of the alley is a light orange in hue, with a soft almost nutty sheen and texture. His feet feel…

Why are Nevada and Utah so different culturally? Because Utah has more men.

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" ​ Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI…

What is the difference between Wuhan, China and Las Vegas, Nevada? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas