Georgia Jokes

General Sherman is marching through the South, and passes Stone Mountain in Georgia. On top is a lone rebel, hurling insults down on the Yankees. Sherman sends ten men up to deal with the rebel. Twenty minutes pass, the men don't return, and the rebel appears again on top of the mountain, yelling insults. Sherman sends a hundred men up to deal with the rebel. Twenty minutes pass, the men don't return, and the rebel appears again on top of the mountain, yelling insults. Finally, Sherman sends a t…

Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop. One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked down an embankment. The first guy was charged with breaking and entering and the second with leaving the scene of an accident.

eer booze and fun!' 'A cowboy walks in to a bar and says"" I want a beer."" So after he drank his beer he was about to leave then he noticed that his horse was gone.He shouted"" if i dont get my horse back after this beer i am gonna have to do what i did in Georgia. So he finished his beer and he saw his horse was back so he got on and rode a little then the bartender asked out the window what did you have in Georgia? i had to walk home.

When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read ""Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."" The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from that town. ""Well then"" the reporter said ""the headline will probably say 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog'."" ""Actually"" …

So I was walking through rural Georgia when... ...I passed a little lady with white hair and deep wrinkles sitting on her front porch who waved to me. I decided to amble up, say hello, and see if I could determine the secret to her longevity. She told me her name was Ida and that she'd lived in this house her whole life, just as her parents and grandparents had. I asked her what she ate on an average day, and she told me: "Every morning when I wake up, I eat a breakfast of half a pound of …

College roommates Two girls, one from Georgia, one from Connecticut, are going to be roommates in college in Virginia. On move-in day, they are unpacking and settling in, when the southern belle asks "So where y'all from?" The northern girl replies with a huff: "Well! I'm from Connecticut, where they teach us not to end a sentence with a preposition!" The Georgian girl responds: "Oh, I apologize! Where y'all from, cunt?"

A story about a Redneck and a Game Warden. A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Georgia as he started to leave a lake well known for it's fish. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish." "Pet fish!?!?" "Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when…

A joke my grandmother, of all people, told me when I was a kid. I don't know how many of y'all have heard this joke, but here it goes. Two guys were at a University of Georgia football game when one of them looks down at the Georgia Bulldog sidelines and sees Uga, the school mascot, licking himself like dogs like to do. The guy smiles, leans over to his buddy while pointing at Uga and says, "Man, I wish I could do that". His friend looks back at him in surprise and says, "Man, that dog would b…

A Small Collection of US State Jokes **Georgia** The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings." **Louisiana** A senior citizen in Louisiana was…

Two girls are moving into a college dorm... Two girls are moving into a college dorm. One is from Georgia the others from Connecticut. The one from Connecticut is hanging curtains with her mother in the dorm. The girl from Georgia walks in and says them "What beautiful curtains, where are y'all from?". The girl from Connecticut replies, "A place where we know better then to end a sentence with a preposition". The girl from Georgia says, "I beg your pardon, where are y'all from, cunt?

[NSFW] On a midnight train to Georgia... A man and a woman, total strangers, find themselves sharing the same double bunk-bed passenger cabin on the 10:15 PM Amtrack express to Atlanta due to a mix-up at the ticket office. It's the middle of winter. There's frost on the window, and the shitty Amtrak maintenance means the heat is out. In the dim light of the passenger car, the two strangers can see each other's foggy breath as they try not to make eye contact in an obviously uncomfortable sit…

Make us even Two good ol' boys in a Georgia trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Kia plant. After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?" The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the que…

A New Yorker, a Nebraskan, a Georgian, and a Floridian were driving to Vegas... After a few hours in the car, the Nebraskan suddenly rolls down his window, opens his bag, and starts chucking corn out the window. "What are you doing that for?", the others exclaim. "Back in Nebraska, everywhere I look I see corn. I'm going on vacation and I don't want to see any corn for a couple weeks." The Georgian replies, "you know what? You're right; I'm sick of seeing peaches all over Georgia. I don't kn…

An old couple driving are pulled over by a state trooper... The state trooper asks the old woman, "do you have any idea how fast you were going?" The old woman who could barely see over the steering wheel is hard at hearing and replies, "what?" The husband sitting next to her says , "he said do you have any idea how fast you were going?" to which she replies, "no." The state trooper then says to the old woman, "ma'am, I need to see your drivers license." The old woman replies, "what?" To wh…

Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a suspect on the road toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly. The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly. The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him.

a visitor to georgia saw a vicious dog attack a toddler He took out his pocket knife

Clem was small game hunting in the woods right around the border area of North Carolina South Carolina and Georgia.

[NSFW] On a midnight train to Georgia... A man and a woman

Make us even Two good ol' boys in a Georgia trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Kia plant.

Two girls are moving into a college dorm... Two girls are moving into a college dorm. One is from Georgia the others from Connecticut. The one from Connecticut is hanging curtains with her mother in the dorm.

How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?,"If it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush. What's the latest invention to come out of the UA engineering program? A solar-powered flashlight. How can you tell if someone's a UA graduate? Look at the ring while they're picking their nose. Why are criminals so hard to catch in Alabama? Everyone has the same DNA. What does an Alabaman call a six-pack and a dead possum? A seven-course meal. Since state jokes seem to…

Why can the Devil never go back to Georgia? He fiddled up a little kid.

A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co- ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?" The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question. "Yale," she replied. The Georgia student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL??"

Two Alabama State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Georgia on I-90. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over immediately. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked, "Sarge, why'd you stop?" "You dumb rookie," replied the Sarge. "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."