First Mate Jokes

A pirate captain was telling his first mate how he got his injuries First he points to his peg leg. "You see," he says, "I got thrown overboard in a terrible storm an' a great white shark bit off me leg before I could climb back up." "That's amazing," the first mate replies, "and what happened to your hand?" "We was boarding a ship to take its plunder an' I dueled the ship's captain. I bested him but not before he took me hand clean off. So I got a hook to replace it." The first mate was …

A pirate ship encountered an enemy vessel on the high seas. The pirate captain told his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt." The first mate did what he was told and the pirates won the day. Some time later, the pirates encountered 3 enemy vessels. The level-headed captain told his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt." Again, the pirates won. The pirates had a feast to celebrate, and the first mate asked the captain why he always wears a red shirt in battle. "So if I'm ever wounded in battle, y…

A brave and fearsome pirate sailed toward a small island, in search for buried treasure. He and his crew raced ahead in their rowboat, eagerly awaiting a massive payday. When they shortly came upon a large forest, they searched desperately for the last clue on the map. As the first mate guided them carefully up to a clearing, he stopped suddenly and pointed at a crouched figure straight ahead. The captain gasped. "...Carol??" "Hey, loser," she droned, relieving herself between two pines. "I …

Ship captain is in charge of keeping ship's log. He notes "NE wind, calm sea, today first mate is drunk." After seeing that first mate asks captain to remove the note about him as it would harm his career. "No, I can't do that" declines the captain "we only write the truth in the log." Seeing there is nothing he can do first mate drops the issue. Next day it's his turn to keep the log and he writes "N wind, calm sea, today the captain is sober."

Long ago, when sailing ships rules the waves Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the looko…

What do you call it when a sailor loses his virginity? First mate.

A pirate named Ronny gets promoted to First Mate. Ronny is pondering life one day as hes giving the captain a shave.

A pirate captain asks his first mate ""Find out what be the Roman numeral for the two"" ""Aye aye! "" responds the first mate

A young first mate officer asks his Captain "Sir

A Young Man Has dreams of being a sailor but has no formal education. One day a magnificent ship docks at the harbour and the man rushes to the first mate.

A pirate captain was telling his first mate how he got his injuries First he points to his peg leg. ""You see

A pirate ship is voyaging at sea. First mate: Captain there is an enemy ship on the horizon preparing for battle!

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants? "ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"

Why did black beard kill his first mate? He kept singing, "your ho, your ho, a pirate's wife for me"