[high seas] FIRST MATE: I can't wait to see my wife again PIRATE: Land Ho! FIRST MATE: Now look, that's a little rude

[high seas] FIRST MATE: The men be ready to attack PIRATE: Arr! FIRST MATE: Oh sorry...the men "are" ready to attack

A pirate ship is sailing across the Atlantic.. When suddenly the lookout shouts, ""Enemy ship heading our way!"" The captain, as soon as he hears this, tells his first mate to go grab his red coat. After they defeated the enemy, his first mate asks what the red coat was for. The captain responds, ""Whenever I go into battle with my crew, I don't want them to lose morale by seeing my blood stain me, so I wear this coat to hide my wounds from them."" The next day the lookout warns them, ""There's …

The Fearsome Pirate The most fearsome pirate captain on the seven seas is sailing through the Bermuda Triangle when suddenly his first mate comes up next to him and says ""Sir, one of the King's ships has been sighted over the horizon. They're armed and we should be ready for battle."" The captain turns around and replies ""Aye, thank you matey. Ready the cannons and bring me my red jacket."" The first mate is confused and asks the captain why he needs a red jacket. The captain replies ""Arr, if…