Elvis Presley Jokes

It's 1968. China and the Soviet Union are on the verge of open hostilities. And only the pope can intervene... Well, so thinks the president of the UN. See, he'd been up all night watching *The Shoes of the Fisherman*, and it was such a harrowing vision that he was determined that the pope, and only the pope, could broker a deal between two hostile nations. If you've not seen *The Shoes of the Fisherman*, it's a fine film with Anthony Quinn and there's international problems solved by the pope. …

I went to a Celebrity Driving School My instructor was Elvis Presley. I was driving on a fairly empty street. A cyclist came out from nowhere. I had to do an emergency stop. I asked the instructor if he was ok. ""I'm all shook up.""

In honor of the papal visit, I submit the worst, longest, most tortuous pope joke I know. It's 1969. China and the Soviet Union are on the brink of open hostilities. The war would kill us all. And only the pope can save the day. Well, so thinks Richard Nixon. See, he'd been up all night watching *The Shoes of the Fisherman*, and it was such a harrowing vision that he was determined that the pope, and only the pope, could broker a deal between two hostile nations. If you've not seen *The Shoes of…

Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Bob Marley, Marilyn Monroe, ""Venison's dear isn't it?"", John Lennon, Albert Einstein, Bruce Lee, Steve McQueen, James Dean Pun intended

Why can't Elvis Presley drive? 'Cause he's dead.

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today? Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

In 1957, several cities were vying to host the 1964 Winter Olympics. Candidates had been eliminated to the point where the only two left were Singapore and Nevers, France. The French venue had an obvious advantage for the games, but the Singaporeans were eager to host the games in their country, so they developed a snow-making machine. Because of technical glitches, the machine produced snow only part of the time. The rest of the time it produced steam, and you can't ski on steam. So they made a…

What was the chicken eating pirate's favorite Elvis Presley song?,"Yargh! ""Love Me Tender " matey!

Why can't Elvis Presley roll backwards with his car? Because he is dead

What was the chicken eating pirate's favorite Elvis Presley song? Yargh! "Love Me Tender," matey!

A guy walked into a bar, and the bartender said: "Go on, Jed, tell them the Elvis Presley knock knock joke." "What's the Elvis Presley knock knock joke?" asked one of the regulars. Jed said: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Wurlitzer." "Wurlitzer who?" "Wurlitzer one for the money, two for the show . . ."