Three elderly men are sitting in an empty bar, swapping stories about getting old. The first old man says,""My mind is going, I tell you. My kids come over, and I can remember their faces, but I forget all of their names..."" and clangs his beer glass on the bar. The second old man says,""Tell me about it! Why, I can remember all of my kids' names, but I always forget their faces..."" and slams his whiskey glass on the bar. The third old man bursts into laughter, knocking his stein back and fort…

My ultimate dream is to move back home, open up a bar and run it with all of my friends, and then burn it down for the insurance money

If I could have back all the money I've spent on drugs and alcohol, I'd celebrate by buying more drugs and alcohol.

Here's a crazy idea. What if Budweiser took all that advertising money and actually made better beer?