Jed Jokes

So two farmers were talking . . . and Jed says to Zeb, ""So, what are yeh going to do fer yer vacation this year?"" ""Wall,"" says Zeb, ""I figger I'll try somethin' different this year."" ""What d'yeh mean different?"" ""Wall, remember three years ago when I went to Disneyworld? My wife Earline got pregnant."" ""Yep, I remember,"" says Jed. ""And then the next year I went to Vegas. And Earline got pregnant again."" ""Yep."" ""And then last year I went to New Orleans. And dang if Earline didn't …

Steve, Bruce and Jed are working on a telephone tower, when Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, ""Someone should go and tell his wife."" Jed says, ""OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."" Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer. Bruce says, ""Where did you get that, Jed?"" ""Steve's wife gave it to me,"" Jed replies. ""That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"" Well…

A country preacher visits one of his parishioners... ... who is a farmer. He finds him sitting on his front porch. ""Brother Jed"" the preacher asks, ""Do you smoke?"" ""Sometimes"" Jed replies. The preacher, inwardly shocked, then asks, ""Do you drink alcohol?"" ""Sometimes"" Jed again answers. Lastly the preacher asks, ""Do you curse?"" ""Sometimes"" Jed once again replies. ""Now brother Jed"" the preacher says, ""I don't smoke, drink alcohol, or curse."" Jed answers ""But preacher, you don't …

Huntin' License A man named Jed went hunting near the border of Alabama and Georgia. When he was going back to his truck, a game warden came up to him and asked him what he had in the sack. ""Three rabbits,"" Jed said. The warden said, ""Let me see one of those rabbits."" So Jed pulled out one of the rabbits. The warden stuck his finger in the rabbit's butthole, pulled it out, smelled it and said, ""This is a Georgia rabbit."" Then the warden said, ""Let me see your Georgia huntin' license."" So…

The Story of Jed There was once a man named Jed, who had grown tired of the may-may culture. But he was at work in the engineering yard, and couldn't just turn off his computer or hide it. This was not the first time he had grown angry with it, and the last time he had destroyed his computer in a rage, so it was now replaced with a reinforced chassis for when he got angry. So he just drank a Mountain Dew for energy, took off his belt and began whipping his reinforced computer. His boss heard the…

Redneck son Jedidiah returns from college for the summer He hops on a plane and arrives at the airport where his dad is waiting on him. Daddy: Hey, Jed! Good to have ya back in town. Jedidiah: Glad to be back, daddy. Daddy: So tell me. What did ya learn there at college? Jed racks his brain and decides on his memory. Jedidiah: Pi r^2 Daddy: What are they teaching you in college? Pie are round!

The Black Snake It was the first camping experience for Jed. As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went for a hike in the woods. In about fifteen minutes he rushed back into camp, bleeding and dishevelled. ""What happened?"" asked a fellow camper. ""I was chased by a black snake!"" cried the frightened Jed. The camper laughed and retorted, ""A black snake isn't deadly."" ""Listen,"" groaned Jed, ""If he can make you jump off a fifty-foot cliff, he is!""

So old Jed is screwing his goat when a neighbor witnesses this unspeakable act of bestiality. The neighbor calls the cops, and Jed is arrested. Jed goes to a lawyer, explains the case, and the lawyer says, "I can defend you for $5,000." "What's the point?" says Jed. "My neighbor witnessed the whole thing. Why should I waste $5,000? They're gonna find me guilty for sure." "Don't you worry none," says the lawyer. "The key to any trial is the jury, and believe me, I know how to pick a jury." S…

Steve Bruce and Jed are working on a telephone tower

A guy walked into a bar, and the bartender said: "Go on, Jed, tell them the Elvis Presley knock knock joke." "What's the Elvis Presley knock knock joke?" asked one of the regulars. Jed said: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Wurlitzer." "Wurlitzer who?" "Wurlitzer one for the money, two for the show . . ."