Einstein Jokes

What did Einstein eat as a baby? Formula!

What did Bose say to Einstein about the weather? It's 0K

Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide and seek. Einstein is counting, so Pascal runs and hides. Newton moves a short distance away from Einstein and draws a square meter box on the ground, then steps into it. When Einstein is finished counting, he sees Newton right away and says, ""I've found you, Newton!"" Newton replies, ""No. You've found Pascal.""

According to Einstein, ""Everything is relative."" Sort of like the marriages in Alabama.

What did Einstein text to his friend who he'd see tomorrow? E=MC U L8R

We all know that it isn't polite to use the ""F"" word! There are only ten times in history the ""F"" word has been acceptable for use: 10. ""What the f___ was that?"" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 9. ""Look at all them f___ing Indians!"" - Custer, 1877 8. ""Any f___ing idiot could understand that."" - Einstein, 1938 7. ""It does so f___ing look like her!"" - Picasso, 1926 6. ""How the f___ did you work that out?"" - Pythagorus, 126 BC 5. ""You want WHAT on the f___ing ceiling?"" - Michelangelo, 15…

Einstein, Newton & Pascal are playing hide and seek Einstein starts counting ""1...2...3..."" and Pascal immediately runs away to hide. Instead of hiding Newton knees down and draws a square of one meter side length. Then he steps inside of it. Einstein finishes counting and turns around. He instantly yells ""Newton I have found you!"" But Newton replies: ""No, what you see is one Newton over one square meter - so what you have found is one Pascal.""

Funny Albert Einstein Joke (not mine) An old, funny joke - I think I saw it on reddit a while ago, but haven't seen it in a while - so here it is: When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking. ""I h…

What happen when you put Einstein in a -20C clean room? You get a solid-state frizzicist.

So Einstein was tired of giving the same lectures over and over... One day, his chauffeur gave him an offer, ""Dr. Einstein, I have driven you and listened to your lectures so many times I memorized each and every single word. Since you're so tired of giving lectures, why don't we switch places? I'll give the lectures, and you can be my chauffeur."" Einstein thought why not? Everything was going well until during one lecture, a mathematician asked 'Einstein' a rather difficult question. With som…

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress? She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement

scientific joke Scientists were playing hide and seek. Einstein was seeker. Amongst the other scientists, Newton did not hide and stood in a 1 meter square. Einstein: I found you Newton, I-spy Newton: I am not Newton, as I am standing in 1 mtr square, I am newton per meter square: I am Pascal !@#$%^&*()

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek... Einstein is seeking, so Pascal runs to go hide. Newton stays where he is and draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square in the dirt and stands in the middle of it. Einstein turns around and immediately spots Newton. ""Newton!"" he exclaims ""I found you!"" Newton smiles and replies ""You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!""

Not a joke; just something I'd like to address... Since we're reposting the ""Einstein, Newton, and Pascal"" joke, it should be noted that the actual punchline is different from what's been used. It's supposed to go like this: *Newton draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square on the ground and steps inside. Einstein comes up to him and cries out, ""Aha! I found you, Pascal!""* The joke just doesn't work when Newton has to explain it. Not only does it beat the reader over the head with the premise, but i…

Einsten, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek. Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek. Its Einstein's turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten. Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square on the ground in front of Einstein and stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes. He sees Newton immediately and exclaims ""Newton! I found you! You're it!"" Newton smiles and says ""you didn't find me, yo…

Einstein vs Mr. Bean Einstein: Let's make a contest. I'll ask you a question, if you don't know the answer you give me $1. Then you ask me a question and if I don't know the answer I give you $1000. Mr. Bean accepts. Einstein: What's the basic of quantum physics? Mr. Bean: ???? - gives Einstein $1. Einstein: Ok your turn now. Mr. Bean: What has four legs while crossing the street, five legs when sitting down and two legs while flying? Einstein: ???? - gives Mr. Bean $1000. Einstein: But what was…

A physics Joke So Einstein, Pascal and Newton are playing hide and seek. Einstein is counting while Newton and Pascal hide. Pascal runs off and hides while Newton doesn't move an inch. Instead, he draws a square around himself in the dirt. After Einstein finishes counting, he opens his eyes and says, ""Found you Newton! That was easy"" Newton says; ""No you didn't. You found Pascal"" He points down to the square in the dirt. ""One Newton per meter squared""

Hide-and-seek with physicists One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of hide and seek. Einstein volunteered to be ""It."" As Einstein counted, eyes closed, to 100, Pascal ran away and hid, but Newton stood right in front of Einstein and drew a one meter by one meter square on the floor around himself. When Einstein opened his eyes, he immediately saw Newton and said ""I found you Newton,"" but Newton replied, ""No, you found one Newton per square meter. You found…

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Albert Einstein, John F Kennedy and God are on holiday at the Kennedy compound on Cape Cod. One a rainy afternoon Einstein suggests they play a game. So they get out the card table and setup. God suggests Poker, Einstein 500 and Kennedy Blackjack. After a ten minutes of arguments, Schwarzenegger says ""Why don't we just play Yahtzee?"" At that God gets up and storms out. Kennedy turns to Einstein and ask ""What was that about?"" Einstein says ""God does not play dice with …

just thought of this.. Is it funny? ""What did Einstein say to the physics professor?"" ""You discuss me"" (I'm not sure if its obvious or not. but you say the punchline with a condescending tone and its a play on the word disgust) probably not funny.. but though I'd post anyway :)

Speechmaking When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking. ""I have an idea, boss,"" his chauffeur said. ""I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you."" Einstein…

Putting the punchline in the title How do you piss off circle jerkers? Putting the punchline in the title And that's how the fight started -Albert Einstein And then Einstein fainted, because where are you going to find a lawyer in heaven?

Invitation to a Scientists' ball Some of the replies from the scientists invited: Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm. Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend. Volta was electrified and Archimedes, buoyant at the thought. Ampere was worried he wasn't up to current research. Ohm resisted the idea at first. Boyle said he was under too much pressure. Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience. Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam. Stephenson t…

Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek... One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of hide and seek. Einstein volunteered to be ""It."" As Einstein counted, eyes closed, to 100, Pascal ran away and hid, but Newton stood right in front of Einstein and drew a one meter by one meter square on the floor around himself. When Einstein opened his eyes, he immediately saw Newton and said ""I found you Newton,"" but Newton replied, ""No, you found one Newton per squ…

Hung like Einstein smart as a horse... Thanks dad.