Einstein Jokes

Einstein quietly lays in bed next to a obviously disappointed partner.. After a few minutes of awkward silence he turns to her and says, ""You see, it was fast to you...""

Einstein, Newton and Darwin are having a small argument. Newton, a bit annoyed, says ""Guys, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation"". Einstein replies, ""I think I do relatively understand it."" On which Darwin says, ""Please don't let this evolve into a big fight, aight?""

My Most Favorite When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking. ""I have an idea, boss,"" his chauffeur said. ""I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you."" Eins…

Can't believe that it's been over a hundred years since Einstein proposed his theory of relativity. Feels like it was only yesterday...

Einstein, Casals, Picasso, and George W. Bush die and go to heaven. St. Peter is waiting for them, and requests identification. Einstein, who is first in line, says ""I don't have any ID, but I can explain the equivalence of matter and energy."" He is given a blackboard and proceeds to give an eloquent explanation of one of his most famous theories. ""Only Einstein himself could explain this so well,"" says St. Peter. ""Step right in, professor. Next?"" Then Casals, who is next in line, says ""I…

Einstein discovered three things slow time 1. Speed 2. Gravity 3. My Wife

An Indian man and Einstein Are on a flight, Einstein makes a bet with the man sitting next to him. ""I will give you 500 dollars if you can ask me a question I don't know the answer to,however, if you cannot answer my question you must give me 5 bucks."" The man thinks it about 5:500 seems like a good ratio so he says sure. Einstein asks what is the exact distance between Earth and the moon? The man replies I don't know, so he hands over 5 dollars. It is then the Indian mans turn to ask Einstein…

You probably solved a problem which Einstein couldn't solve because he didn't see it

What Einstein say when someone tried to take his beer? Nein! Mein Stein!....sorry

Why did Einstein marry his cousin? It's all relative.

Einstein wrote a theory about Space... It was about time too!

I can do something that Einstein can't. Breathe.

I wonder if Einstein thought of his theory of general relativity... in New York's Time Squared...

Did you hear that einstein made a theory about space It's about time too

All scientists in heaven were playing hide and seek... It was Einstein's turn to seek, so he went to a corner and started counting down from ten. All other scientists ran away hurriedly, except Newton. Newton calmly took out a piece of chalk from his pocket and drew a square on the ground with each side one metre long. As soon as Einstein was about to turn, he stepped into the box he had drawn with a smug smile. Einstein turned and immediately pointed towards Newton and started shouting, ""You'r…

A stitch in time... Would confuse Einstein

Einstein climbs to the top of Mt Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord...""God, what does a million years mean to you?"" The Lord replies, ""A minute."" ""Einstein asks, ""And what does a million dollars mean to you?"" The Lord replies, ""A penny."" Einstein asks, ""Can I have a penny?"" The Lord replies, ""In a minute.

So Einstein finally finished that theory about space he's been working on. It's about time too, right?

Einstein's chauffeur. When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech making. ""I have and idea, boss,"" his chauffeur said. ""I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you.…

There's a wormhole in the center of my bagel.... ""Of course, that's not a Cinnamon-Rosen bagel....you bought an EINSTEIN-Rosen bagel!""

Why did Einstein cross the road? So the other side could get to him

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek.lt's Einstein's turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten.Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square on the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes. He sees Newton immediately and exclaims ""Newton! I found you! You're it!"" Newton smiles and says ""You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!""

Einstein was playing hide and seek with a bunch of scientists, and he saw Newton When he was about to grab him, Newton said ""see, I am standing on a tile that's exactly 1 square meter, so it Pascal not me you are looking for""

Mr. Bean and Einstein were taking a coffee when Einstein challenges Mr. Bean to a knowledge challenge. **Einstein**: here is the deal, Bean. I'll make you a question. If you don't know the answer you give me 1$. Then you ask me something and if I have no answers for you, I'll give you 1000$ **Mr. Bean**: Fine. Einstein, sure of his upcoming success, proceeds to ask Bean his question. **Einstein**: What's the basic of quantum physics? **Mr. Bean**: ehm... He gives Einstein $1. **Einstein**: alrig…

Kim Kardashian is a big fan of Einstein After she discovered he invented reality tv