Edna Jokes

"Daddy, where do babies come from?" Show him Edna.. [mum stops slicing carrots] *starts violently gagging until a baby slides out her mouth*

[old couple feeding ducks in the park] "Nothing could ruin this Edna" *I scare all the ducks away, punch the old man and steal their bread

Mental Hospital Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable. The director…

My grandma Edna had to get a job... ...so she applied and was hired at the toy factory where they make Tickle-Me Elmo dolls. She was led to her station near the end of the assembly line where the foreman told her what was expected of her. A couple hours later, the foreman came back to check on her. He stood behind her and observed as she meticulously folded two marbles into a small piece of cloth. Then, using a needle and thread, she stitched the folded cloth between the legs of a newly assemble…

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited…

Old dress Dorothy and Edna two ""senior"" widows, are talking at the local coffee shop. Dorothy: ""That nice Joe asked me out for a date . . . I know that you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."" Edna: ""Well . . . I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car . . A l…

Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say, 'Edna,I'd like to ride in that helicopter' Edna always replied, 'I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks' One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said, 'Edna, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance' To this, Edna replied, ""Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks' The pil…

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the…

Mental Stability Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went…

Jim and Edna were both patients at a psychiatric hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna, …

Fifty Bucks Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say, Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' Edna always replied, I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks' One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said, Edna, I'm 85 years old... If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' To this, Edna replied, ""Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty …

Fifty bucks is fifty bucks! Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say, 'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter' Edna always replied, 'I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks' One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said, 'Edna, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance' To this, Edna replied, ""Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty …

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.' Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered h…

Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say ""Edna I'd like to ride in that there airplane."" And every year Edna would say ""I know Fred but that airplane ride costs ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars."" One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said ""Edna I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."" Edna replied ""Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dolla…

REPUTATION There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I…

Fifty bucks is fifty bucks! Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say, 'Edna,I'd like to ride in that helicopter' Edna always replied, 'I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks' One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said, 'Edna, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance' To this, Edna replied, "Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and …

Old man's wife has hearing problems An old man goes to his doctor. Old man: Hey Doc, my wife's hearing is becoming terrible, is there anything you can give me to help her out? Doc: Well, how bad is it? Old Man: We rarely talk any more, Doc, and I love her more than anything. Doc: Try the distance test. When you get home, Call her name and if she doesn't hear you, get closer and closer until she does. This will give me a good sense of how bad her hearing actually is. Old Man: Okay…

Fifty bucks is fifty bucks... Eugene and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Eugene would say, 'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter' Edna always replied, 'I know Eugene, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks' One year Eugene and Edna went to the fair, and Eugene said, 'Edna, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance' To this, Edna replied, "Eugene that helicopter ride is fifty bu…

Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..." "Oh no' Edna replies, t…

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail with illegible addresses… One day, a letter came addressed in shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: “Dear God, I am an 83-year-old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited …

An old man spoke to his wife He said "Edna, I've witnessed a miracle! Last night when I got up to go to the bathroom, GOD turned the light on for me! And when I was finished, He turned the light off!" And his wife said, "Harry, you're pissing in the fridge again!"

Ralph and Edna Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool

Mental Hospital Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool

50 Bucks is 50 bucks! Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year