Donald Trump Jokes

Want to hear a funny presidential joke? Donald Trump.

What's orange and has four wheels? Donald Trump. I lied about the wheels.

Did Donald Trump make the right choice when picking his running mate? It de-Pence on who you ask.

What do Donald Trump and his chromosomes have in common? There is one too many of them.

If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton ended up in a car crash who would be saved? America

What does a thong and Donald Trump's toupee have in common? Theyre the only things Donald Trump is currently wearing.

What do Pink Floyd, Dale Earnhardt, and Donald Trump have in common? The wall.

Why would Donald Trump want to lose the election? Winning means he'd need to live in a smaller house in a black neighborhood

What's does a photon and Donald Trump have in common? Both full of energy and momentum, both lacking substance.

what do you call an unqualified baffoon with an incoherent agenda? 2016 republican nominee Donald Trump

Why is Donald Trump like a college football team in Tijuana? They’re both slipping in the polls.

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton and were in a fatal car crash, who survives? Bill and Monica, ooops I mean Melania!

What do you call a fart from Donald Trump? EnRICHed gas.

Why is Donald Trump investing in cloning, choirs, aviaries, and bakeries? So he can sing a song of six Pence, with a pocket full of rye, and four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.

Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump are on a deserted island. Who survives? America.

How does Donald Trump screw in a light bulb? He can't. His hands are too small.

Why did Donald Trump love the new iPhone 7? Deportation.

What drug can Donald Trump not live without? Xanax, for Hispanic attacks.

Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can jump

How many people could Donald Trump shoot before his poll numbers fell below 40%? About 3 million. But they would all have to be Trump supporters.

What do you think about the Cyber Warfare ? My 10 year old son is very good with computers. --Donald trump

Why can't Donald Trump be circumcised? Because there is no end to that prick.

Why does Donald Trump like free haircuts? Because he doesn't have toupeé.

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a sinking ship in the middle of the ocean. Who survives? AMERICA!

Have you heard about the new TV show NBC is working on with Donald Trump? It's called: "To Catch a President".