Donald Trump Jokes

Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are planning WW3 in a bar. The bartender asks ""what are you guys going todo?"" Cruse says, ""kill 200,000 Muslims"" and ""One big breasted blonde woman."" Bartender asked ""Why the blonde woman"" Trump says ""I knew no one would care about the Muslims.""

Since this is Obama's last year... He decides to throw a small private party and invites the candidates running for president this year. He invites Hillary Clinton, Jeff Bush and of course the smart and talented Donald Trump on his private jet party. They are the only people on the jet plane and are flying over the tropical islands. After about couple of hours of cruising, the pilot cries frantically, ""We seem to have a problem, the plane is going to crash due to some malfunction. We have only …

A Priest, an Iman and Donald Trump walk into a bar. (JOKE) A Priest, an Imam and Donald Trump walk into a bar. Upon seeing the men the bartender says ""we don't serve your kind in here,"" prompting the Priest to jump to the defense of the Imam and shouting back ""that all men are created equal in the eyes of the Lord"" and if ""you aren't going to serve the Imam, I'm leaving too!"" The Bartender looks at the priest and then points at Trump stating ""I meant him"" and the Priest responds, ""In th…

Donald Trump has labelled Hillary Clinton ""disgusting"" for taking a bathroom break during the debate. Trump himself never has to go to the bathroom, as the shit just comes straight out of his mouth.   Edit: Thanks to everyone that found this joke funny. To all those I offended: Stop being offended by jokes on the internet ;) MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!   Edit: Spelling

Want to hear a dumb, old joke? Hillary Clinton. Want to hear a dumber, older joke? Wherefore doth the chicken cross the road? Want to hear the oldest, dumbest joke I've heard? Donald Trump.

Donald Trump said that all the Mexicans he meets love him... they are always telling him he is a cool arrow.

Political joke Donald Trump

Donald Trump is running for president Sadly I wish this was a joke.

Donald Trump walks into a bar * Where he found a group of Mexicans playing pool. The Mexicans see him and walk up to him with pool cues in hand. One Mexican says ""when were done with you, you'll never make fun of another Mexican again"". Trump looks at them with a confused look on his face and says, ""if your gonna try and build a wall with those cues, everyone will make fun of you"".

Donald Trump? Donald Trump

Donald Trump. ...That is the joke.

Heidi Klum was waiting for a call from Donald Trump She never got it.. His phone was only 99.99% charged so he couldn't do it.

Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are sitting in a bar. The bartender sees them chatting, so he goes over to them and says ""Wow, what an honor to have the two of you here! What are you guys talking about?"" Trump responds with ""We are planning our tactics for World War III."" Curious, the bartender asks ""Really? What're your plans?"" ""We are going to kill 100 million Muslims, and one hot blonde chick with a nice rack"" says Trump. ""Really? Why the blonde chick?"" the bartender replies with. Trump t…

Donald Trump is elected president...

Donald Trump is not the sharpest tool in the shed but... ..he is the biggest.

Donald and the Queen A private Lear jet arrives at Heathrow International Airport and Donald Trump strides to a waiting limousine which drives him to a warm and dignified reception with the Queen. From there, they are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well. Suddenly, the right rear horse let…

What happened to King Midas after he facepalm'd? He turned into Donald Trump.

If Donald Trump was elected president... Instead of saying ""You're fired."" He'd say ""You're deported.""

I'm not usually a prick but when I am, I try to be like Donald Trump

Donald Trump is like the number pi... There is no end to his irrationality.

THE COMPLETE 'DONALD TRUMP IS COMING TO TOWN' SONG He's making a list He's checking it twice he gonna find out if your Muslim or white Donald Trump is coming to town If he doesn't get his way, he's going to pout He's building a wall to keep Mexicans out Donald Trump is coming to town He says he not racist, its for Americas sake then why does his skin tone make look like he's half baked You better watch out, he'll make you cry We're all gonna pout, I'm telling you why Donald Trump is coming to to…

Wanna hear a blonde joke Donald Trump

Donald Trump seeks total and complete ban on algebra because he thinks that it may be related to alqaeda

Submit a joke. how do i submit Donald Trump?

Finally time for Donald Trump to.. Finally time for Donald Trump to have his long-pending anus transplant. He really needs to stop shitting from his mouth now.