Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are planning WW3 in a bar. The bartender asks ""what are you guys going todo?"" Cruse says, ""kill 200,000 Muslims"" and ""One big breasted blonde woman."" Bartender asked ""Why the blonde woman"" Trump says ""I knew no one would care about the Muslims.""

Two blond cowboys... Two blond cowboys (duke and matt) walk into a saloon. While they are at the bar, a man walks in and put an Indian head on the bar. The bartender hands the man $100. The two blond cowboys ask why. The bartender says. ""Indians killed my family. I'll pay a $100 for every Indian head brought to me."" The two cowboys decide to get some money. They ride out on the Prarie and spot an indian. They begin chasing him and he falls into a ravine. They see he is dead so they climb down …

Wine Taster! At a wine merchant's warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A retired Marine A-4 pilot drunk and with a ragged dirty look came to apply for the position. The director wondered how to send him away. They gave him a glass to drink. The old pilot tried it and said, "It's a Muscat three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade but acceptable." "That's correct", said the boss. "Another glass, please…

The best situation set-up I've ever heard in real life.. My army platoon was training a decade ago when this happened, I still laugh about it today. I'll not use names, just ranks. We had just finished a mission and field maintenance and had about an hour of down-time before our next briefing, so the whole platoon was in a tent sitting on cots in a circle just bullshitting. One of the sergeants, a particularly vulgar guy, starts telling some nasty and offensive jokes which starts the whole pl…