Buckingham Palace Jokes

[Wildebeest being lowered Mission Impossible-style from a helicopter to graze the grasses of Buckingham Palace]

David Cameron: "In some parts of Britain there are three generations of families where nobody has ever worked." Buckingham Palace?

My mate John knows everyone in the world Just cross-posting this from over on /r/AskReddit My mate John claims to know everyone in the world. Last week, we were in the pub, and he was bragging about it. ""Not everyone, though, John!"" I said. He said ""Wait a minute"", pulled out his phone, and made a call. Next thing you know, we're in a taxi on the way to Buckingham Palace. We pull up outside, the guard waves us through, saying ""Hi John!"", and we stop at the front door. Prince Phillip answer…

The RAF will be doing a flypast over Buckingham Palace. Due to a lack of aircraft they'll be using the Easy-Jet from Gatwick to Barcelona.

Donald Meets The Queen of England! Together the Queen of England and Donald Trump proceeded to Buckingham Palace in a carriage drawn by six white horses. Regrettably, the rear horse let go of a putrid and lingering fart. The coach stunk like a sewage treatment plant, and the Queen turned to Donald and said: ""Mister Trump, please accept my humblest apologies, but there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."" Donald quickly replied: ""Please don't give it a second thought Your Majesty…

Trump Meets The Queen Arriving in England in his private jet, Mr. Trump boarded a waiting limousine where he met the Queen. Together they drove to London where they switched to a carriage hitched to six white horses. As the coach proceeded to Buckingham Palace, the rear horse let fly a putrid, long-hovering fart. The coach stunk like a sewage treatment plant and Mr. Trump held a handkerchief over his nose. The Queen turned to Donald and said: ""Mr. Trump, please accept my humblest apologies, but…

Donald and the Queen A private Lear jet arrives at Heathrow International Airport and Donald Trump strides to a waiting limousine which drives him to a warm and dignified reception with the Queen. From there, they are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well. Suddenly, the right rear horse let…

What do they pass around after dinner at Buckingham Palace? Under Eights.

My wife and I were walking down the street. My wife and I were walking down the street when she spotted the mayor of our town. ""You should go introduce yourself"" she said. I replied ""I have known him for years why should I?"" ""You do not know the mayor!"" she exclaimed. It was then that we walked up and talked to the mayor for 10 minutes. When we walked away she said I guess you did know the mayor. About a year later my wife and I were traveling through Washington D.C. and she said ""Wouldn'…

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300 ft. red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a 1937 silver bentley to the edge of London where they boarded an open 17th century coach that was hitched to 6 magnificent white horses. As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their sides and waiving to the thousands lining the streets, all was going well. What a glorious display of pagentry and …

Two Yanks touring London in a taxi. What is that asked one of the Yank's. Why that is Buckingham Palace answered the taxi driver. Well you should see the states we have much bigger houses over there and that. That is the Post Office Tower. Oh our towers are much bigger. This went on for much of the day until they went past a another building. Our buildings are much bigger than that one too. I thought it might be said the taxi driver That is the mental institute

What do you call an aardvark outside Buckingham Palace? A guardvark!

Obama travels to England to visit the Queen.... As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen. They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well. Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth…

Awful Neighbors "There is a huge house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of irritable dogs allowed to run without leashes. Her car isn't taxed or insured and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing. To the best of my knowledge, she has never worked in her life. Her bad-tempered old man is notorious for his racist comments. All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thought was gay. Two grandsons a…

As you probably know the guards at Buckingham Palace are not supposed to move a muscle.

A man parked his car outside Buckingham Palace, and immediately a parking attendant ran over and told him: "You can't park there." "But I'm here to cut Prince Charles' hair," said the man. "Have you got a permit?" "No, I've gotta take a bit off the back and sides." Prince Charles and Camilla went on tour to a really rural area of India. The locals must have thought, 'Diana's let herself go a bit.' Frankie Boyle